mourning crows

its my first time writing for this site. I hope you feel the poem.

No! Daddy no!

Not again, please! not again!

Why must you drink that vile stuff?

Why must you always give into the alcoholic seductress?

That flaunts her smells and her looks

Why must you look at me like I'm the seductress?

When in truth i have no wish to be,

Why cant your touch be out of love for your daughter

Instead of out of lust for some woman?

Why cant you hear my cries?

The cries that mingle and match the black mourning crows

The ones that sit in the graveyard.

Perhaps we both are lamenting the same thing

Perhpas they had fathers too

Perhaps its my time

To shed my wings and fly

With the mourning crows

Reviews

[Juanita]

Well written. Very emotional piece of work.
"The cries that mingle and match the black mourning crows"
I like that line. I've never heard anyone explain their cries that way. It's beautifully painful. I mean, it's beautifully written & when you think about the cry from a Crow, & comparing that to the cry of a distessed human, it just seems so painful. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but this is a good poem.

[Mr. Misanthrope]

So sad, yet so real. It shows the weaknesses of man.

I love how you put in certain wicked symbols, like the crows, and the graveyard. The graveyard has always been a particular favourite of mine, because when built, it looks grand and beautiful, boasting many wondrous statues and epitaphs, yet it always succumbs to acid rain. So that in the end, it becomes an undead dream, corroded angels looking down on their failed missons.

[Liam]

Damn! The ending is awesome. The imagery is superb and I just love cows. Moomoo

[universalove]

no despect but what doesn`t kill you can only make you strong. the things that happen to us all that we keep to ourselves are the pain of the world. i feel you. really good.

[Mooneagle]

If this is you, hope things are better now. Very well-written piece.
Mooneagle

[Enigmatic Amor]

Nicely done. One spelling correction.... seductress. Trying to understand the word threw me out of the piece. Very emotional and nice imagery overall.

Love the imagery, very sad... I like it!

[[untitled]]

Very emotional, sad theme. You chose the imagery well. Thank you for sharing

[Legion]

:( So sad. Alcohol brings out the worst in people. And then there are those that don't need it to be like that. A great write. I love the "mourning crows" imagery.