The Monster

Shes got that devil in her eyes

Sight; set and locked on some poor, innocent guy

Dancing as he looks her way 

Shes made up her mind, shes chosen her prey

She makes her way across the room

Treating him as if hes her newfound groom.

Now they're off, to her house they go!

Its too bad for this poor young man.

No clue of knowing the pain hes about to withstand

On her bed she throws him down 

Devouring his body , falling to the ground.

Now that this monster is more than satisfied.

In the ground his body shall forever reside.

Reviews

[Pyyro]

Amazingly well done. This monster, i'm assuming is a Succubus, was quite interesting. Keep up the dark work!

[Epipsychologist]

Lucky guy. Jk, I like the ambivalence in the way you described her. She sounds seductive but the diction is rife with dark hints. She sounds like a sucubus in a night club. We'll done.

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you!

[KAin]

great work on the rhyme, and a curious character in the poem. Walking hand-in-hand with the monster within, huh? Or, perhaps, hand-in-glove...
This was a fun read, Sarah Lynn... Keep up the great work!

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you ! (:

[egg13]

Really strong language that creates the dark atmosphere in the event that might as well be something ordinary. I really like your choice of words, a really powerful dark poem...

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you !! (:

[Sheila Kline]

Sounds like a "man eater" to me.............look out guys!! This monster just might be on the prowl again!
Clever!

[Scott Mou]

A nice dark poem here.It flowed really well.I was wondering what kind of "Monster" she was and my favorite lines were Now that this monster is more than satisfied.
In the ground his body shall forever reside.

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you for reading it ! Im glad you liked it (:

[I Am Svetlana]

Reading this really made me reflect on a movie called "Jennifer's Body". The way you described how this whole piece was just made me smile. It's literally one of my favorite movies, though I am sure you didn't mean to make it relate to this. But inside, we all have our own monsters we have yet to reveal and befriend.

[Sarah Lynn]

Thats so funny you said that ! After i got half way done with this, i thought of jennifers body ! Its one of my favorite movies too! So happy you related it to that, thats exactly what i was going for!

[I Am Svetlana]

Yes! I am glad I got it right! Also glad we have the same favorite movie :) haha. Above all things.

[Sarah Lynn]

You deff hit this one right on the spot! And i know . I dont know too many people that even like that movie.

[I Am Svetlana]

I thought it was quite an interesting movie the first time I saw it, also made me laugh when I found out Adam Brody was in it since he was also on the tv show The O.C.

[Sarah Lynn]

Yeah i loved it the first time i saw it , and im afraid i dont know who adam brody is lol

[I Am Svetlana]

It's okay if you don't know who he is. No judgement!

[Tennessee]

The woman in the poem reminds me of a black widow, once she gets what she wants, she done with the poor son of a b***h. I like the comparison. Not bad, keep it up sweetheart.

[Neon]

I hope you ain't that monster in that poem .. lol Very cool write once again. Your making very great stuffs with your great Rhyme. I liked and enjoyed the poem.

[Child of God]

I loved every minute of it :)

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you! lol (:

[Child of God]

anytime lol you've got a lot of talent kido

[Sarah Lynn]

Well thank you once again! lol :)

[Child of God]

you're welcome lol