Love Again

It hurts.

 

I won't let you love me again.

I just realized what a fool I've been.

I'm letting go. I'm moving on.

I don't deserve you all along.

I am giving up this game.

I won't give in to your pain.

I don't want to take your hand.

I won't fall for you again.

I have to wake up from this nightmare.

I have to be free from these lies.

I want to escape and leave you behind

Because I've fallen for someone else this time.

 

Written: 03/12/04

Reviews

[Gandré]

"I'm moving on.
I don't deserve you all along. "--------------I liked those lines. So proud, so strong, I love strong people. It is easy to let oneself go. It is difficult to make a step forward, let flow. But: it is the most enriching way.

xx lara.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Live and let go...
again this is years back...
but the lines can be related...
in terms of relationships...

[Jofer Serapio]

Thanks for sharing. Quite a good read. ^^

[Arlene Fleisher]

I can definitely relate to this poem. Loved every line. Thanks for sending it my way.

[Mariam R]

I love it... how it comes to realizing that person is no longer your dream but your nightmare and how its about falling in love with another....well thats what i got out of the poem either way i think its really good and something alot of people can relate to :)

[Celtic Cat]

This is a great piece. I love the self-love that is evident in your refusal to take anymore. Finding someone new to replace the old? Priceless! Love this, hope the pain has lessened a little by now. Much love~

[Soleil Janoway]

i relate to the theme and message of this poem, yet the rhyme scheme needs just a little work. some of the ending words rhyme with such strain, and i get the feeling strain wasn't your intention. for example, behind and time is a strained rhyme because you pretty much have to mentally mispronounce one in order to make the other work, which tends to be a problem because rhymes are essentially suppose to roll off your tongue. good job though, keep writing and practicing rhyming.

[M J Moore]

You may disagree, but as I read this one, it plays out like a song in my head. It would be perfect--with this being the chorus, perhaps. Maybe it is just me. I don't know... but it plays like a song. And I like it. I think we've all had these kinds of feelings, with that one toxic relationship in our lives. We have that person who no matter how many relationships we've had since then, they're always in the back of our minds, in the backs of our hearts. Nice job.

mj

[Vincent Maltese]

nice good enotion, just for a better ryhme scheme i would change the last line to this:
"Because some one else has caught my eyes." but just me. its a nice poem either way.

[~ Tex]

I felt a change in flow that threw me off. It felt like I would get going and then stumble and stop, then pick up and be off again.

Much like your own experience it might seem.... rolling along and then hitting roadblocks.

Perhaps it was your line "I don't deserve you all along." that made me stumble. I read you to be saying that you'd been made a fool and endured pain and a nightmare... so I was not sure why you'd say, or think, that you didn't deserve him.

Perhaps it's my southern rearing that makes me read that as 'you don't deserve him' (as if he was something wonderful), when in fact you might be saying that you don't deserve his crap.

The ending would be a nail in any man's coffin... truly a barb to get back, if he reads this or was told this....

...but more than that, it made me wonder, after reading your tale, as to whether or not you merely fell for someone else, or found the fairytale.

I look forward to more... and might suggest, if you wrote over a period of time, that you present them, in an anthology sort of way, along the time line... to tell the story of a time, and not just a moment of time.

Just a thought... or two.

I enjoyed, as always!

[Atlanta Carter]

I think this would have been more effective if you had stuck to 8 syllable lines. The near-rhymes that you employ throughout would have been more potent, I think, especially towards the end where your lines get longer. In most cases trimming or adding a syllable would be pretty straightforward. Think also of where your rhythmic stresses are. The last line feels particularly awkward. Everything seems clear and honest.