Chapter VI: Chimmy, the Hot Dog King

Chapter VI: Chimmy, the Hot Dog King 

At first, I wasn’t even going to write this book, cause I didn’t think it would work without visuals, but I like how it’s coming so far, I’m just making s**t up as I go along, no notes, no nothing. Breaking the fourth wall, bending physics, but hey, this is how my comic was. I’d have Ballester yell at me to stop f*****g with him, and I’d put him in an even more fucked up position. Like, right now Ballester and Gorgax are tied up and wrapped in hot dogs, with dogs chewing on them. It wakes them up, and there is a huge guy sitting on a throne made out of cases of hot dogs, stroking his villainous beard. “What the f**k are you doing in my town?” He says in a big, bassy, booming voice. 

“Um, just looking for people.” Ballester says. 

“Are you here to kill me?” 

“Um...” he whispers to Gorgax, “Are we?” She just shakes her head no. “No man, we just wanted to see who else survived the blast. You’re actually the first person we’ve come across in weeks.” 

“Oh, thank god, I thought you were out to kill me. I’ve been fending off wild animals. You got anything to eat? I’ve been eating nothing but hot dogs, I’m getting pretty sick of them.” 

“Yeah sure, I got a can of beef stew, a snack cake...” 

“As long as it’s not a f*****g hot dog, I don’t care what it is.” 

“Why have you been eating nothing but hot dogs?” 

“Because that’s what this town is famous for. Plus, I didn’t wanna break into any stores, I don’t need a record.” 

“Why didn’t you loot after the first day of nobody showing up?” 

“Uhhh....” He goes crosseyed and drools. “I don’t know, man. That’s a good idea.” 

“You wanna come with us? I know a place you can stay.” 

“Really bro? That’d be awesome!” 

“Oh yeah, my boss will give you a job and a place to stay, under one condition.” 

“What’s that?” 

“You gotta do whatever he says.” 

“I don’t know, man.” 

“Either that, or you continue fighting off feral beasts with your dogs. Oh, and by the way, sitting on cases of meat just makes you even more appetizing.” 

“No way, you think?” 

“Even I know that, and I’m not even from this planet.” Gorgax says. 

“Who’s the lady? I ain’t never seen nothin’ like you before.” 

“Calm your nuts buddy, she’s mine.” Ballester says. 

“Alright, alright, it’s just been so long. I’d keep f*****g dead bodies, but after awhile, the smell starts to get to you, I couldn’t do it no more.” 

“Gross, dude.” 

“Oh, and you didn’t f**k any dead bodies before she came along?” Ballester stays silent. “Well?” 

“Let’s just get moving. What’s your name, anyway?” 

“Jimmy.” The Hot Dog King says as he unties them. 

“Jimmy, well, I’m Ballester, and this is my life mate, Gorgax.” 

“So, are you like, some kind of alien or something?” 

“Yes, I am. I am of the species Nunya bidness.” Gorgax tells him. 

“Huh?” 

“Never mind.” 

“I’m glad you guys aren’t here to kill me.” 

“Nah, we’ve only killed one guy so far, and she ate him already.” Ballester says. 

“You’re lucky humans taste terrible.” She tells Jimmy. “Although I’ve never had one as big as you...” Jimmy looks scared. “I’m just f*****g with you, I’ve sworn off of human, well, except when it comes to drinking that sweet, sweet nectar.” 

“Is she talking about sucking dick?” Jimmy asks Ballester. 

“Yeah, bro.” Ballester answers. 

“Niiice.” They fist bump. They eventually make their way back to the lab and go and see Serge. 

“Hey, how’s my favorite lab experiment doing today?” Serge asks Ballester. 

“Fine, I found someone who would like to work here.” Ballester says. 

“Oh, you’re a big fella, aren’t ya? What’s your name?” 

“The name’s Jimmy.” Jimmy tells him. 

“Alright, well listen up, Chimmy-” 

“It’s Jimmy.” 

“Right, right. Listen, I have the opportunity of a lifetime for you. What were you doing when Ballester and Gorgax here found you?” 

“I was fending off wild animals with my dogs.” 

“Why do you smell like hot dogs?” 

“Oh yeah, my town is famous for hot dogs, so I made a little fort out of all the cases.” 

“Alright, well first, Ballester will show you to your room, and in the meantime, I’ll find out what job you’ll be suited best for, and show up here around eleven tomorrow morning. I don’t like getting up too early.” 

“Sure, man.” Ballester shows and drops Jimmy off at his room. 

“What do you think he’s going to have him do?” Gorgax asks Ballester. 

“I don’t know, maybe he’ll get experimented on too, it seems to be Serge’s favorite thing to do to, well, everybody.” 

“What experiment were you involved with?” 

“I thought it was the Bulletproof Skin Project, but it was actually a cloning program that backfired.” 

“Why don’t we go back to our room? We can fill the tub, and have a nice...warm...bath.” 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Jeez, it seems that these two f**k all the f*****g time, man. There’s consequences to that, ya know. Anyway, the next day, Ballester and Gorgox head to the lab. “Need anything special for us to do today, boss?” 

“Nope, keep on the same stuff, you know, finding people, killing Scotts, that whole shebang.” Serge tells them. 

“Got it.” They start walking when Gorgax throws up blue acid onto the ground, which eats away at the dirt, leaving a hole. “Are you alright, babe?”  

“I didn’t know this could happen.” Gorgax tells him. 

“What? Oh, don’t tell me you’re...” 

“...with child!” 

“F**k.” They head back to the lab. “Hey boss?” 

“Yeah?” Serge asks. 

“I uh, knocked up Gorgax.” 

“After all the sex you’ve been having, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.” 

“How does he know?” Gorgox asks Ballester. 

“He can see what God sees.” 

“Oh, crap.” 

“Yeah...” 

“Well, let’s have a loo- oh, never mind, I can see right through you. Ballester, check this out, you can actually watch your child grow.” Ballester stands next to Serge. 

“Woah, that’s actually pretty cool. My skin makes the baby easier to see.” Ballester says. Serge gets a mirror so she can see too. 

“Wow, due to our transparent skin, we usually have to ingest a non lethal radioactive dye to see the baby.” Gorgox says. 

“How long is gestation for your people?” Serge asks her. 

“It usually doesn’t take this long.” 

“Really? That quick?” 

“Yeah, must be the human DNA. How long does it take for your species?” 

“Nine months, not including the time for labor which can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days.” 

“I can’t imagine being pregnant that long! I can’t even imagine being pregnant this long!” 

“How many are in there?” Ballester asks as Gorgax swells up, bigger and bigger. She releases a bunch of eggs, which make a farting noise as they come out. She collapses. 

“I counted 42.” Serge says. 

“There was supposed to be at least a few hundred.” Gorgax says. 

“A few hundred? I can’t take care of 42, let alone a few hundred kids!” Ballester says. 

“These are bigger than our species’ normal size eggs.” Gorgax says. “The human DNA must have compensated for it. C’mon, each of you grab an egg, and return it to the tub in our room. So, Serge, Gorgax, Ballester, and Eyes each carry an egg to Ballester and Gorgax’s room and deposit an egg. Upon returning to the lab, they find the eggs missing. 

“Uh, where did they go?” Serge asks. 

“Well, on our planet, only about a tenth of the eggs survives anyway.” Gorgax says. A giant dog looking like a hot dog complete with bun, jumps out and scares them. 

“Oh, Chimmy, did you-” Serge sniffs its breath. “Yeah, he ate your kids, I’m sorry guys.” 

“Did you just say Chimmy?” Ballester asks. 

“Yeah, that guy gave me a great idea. First, cause of his size, I was gonna make him a guard. But then he mentioned having dogs, and so I was going to make him a guard dog, and so I did. I just infused some hot dog along with his and a Mastiff, and voila! A hot dog guard dog!” 

“You sick f**k!” Ballester says. 

“Yeah, but now we have a guard dog!” 

“Who used to be human!” 

“But this is better!” 

“How is it better?” 

“Dogs are more obedient than humans. Plus, check this out.” He grabs a piece of bun and eats it. Ballester looks repulsed. “It’s fine, he’ll just grow it back, it doesn’t hurt him.” 

“You’re fucked up. Hey babe, how long before those eggs hatch?” 

“I don’t know, between our DNA, it could take a few months.” 

“Do you wanna stay with the kids?” 

“Not really, I’d rather go adventuring with you.” 

“Don’t worry, with the camera in your room, I can keep an eye on them!” Serge tells them. 

“There’s a camera in our room?” Gorgax asks. 

“There’s one in every room!” 

“Uh-” 

“Hey, that stuff you secrete, can we put it in bottles and sell it?” 

“No, it doesn’t work like that.” 

“Ah, s**t. I guess with the lack of people on earth, it wouldn’t make sense to try to make a profit just yet.” 

“Guess you’ll just have to try some other janks.” Chimmy says. 

“Did that dog just talk?” Ballester asks. 

“Well, he did start off as human.” Serge says. 

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Ballester asks Chimmy. 

“I wanted to f**k with you into thinking I was all dog.” Chimmy says. 

“What the f**k? Why did you eat my kids?” 

“They were tasty, yo.” 

“I’ll kill you, m**********r!” 

“No you won’t.” Serge tells him. 

“F**k, man!” Ballester says. 

Reviews

[ETERNITY]

Well. There goes the problem of who's going to watch the kids!
I think it's for the best.
I mean 42 ? Gorgax needs to be sterilized.
But Ballester like her fertile, I guess.
They, or Ballester does, have it made Gorgax loves that sweet nectar,
A dream come true, right?

[Scorpious Alpha]

Well, she's an amphibian, so naturally she'd lay a bunch of eggs lol

[ETERNITY]

Oh! Scorpious! Will I ever perceive the reality of your world? (Sarcasm ...don't be angry ;-)

[Scorpious Alpha]

Maybe one day 🙂