Chapter XII: A Sallone Family Vacation Special

Chapter XII: A Sallone Family Vacation Special 

“Alright, is everyone all packed up and ready to go, gang?” Ballester says, cheerily. 

“Of course, dear.” Gorgax says. “Kids, are you comfortable back there?” 

“Mom, Razul keeps tickling me and I don’t wanna be touched!” Nyvar whines. 

“I F*****G SWEAR TO SCORPIOUS, RUZAL, YOU F**K UP ONCE ON THIS TRIP AND YOUR BIRTHDAY HUNT IS F*****G CANCELED, YOU LITTLE S**T!” Ballester yells. “F*****g kids.” Ballester starts the van, and they start heading west. 

“So Ballester, how long will it take us to get there?” Gorgax asks. 

“Twelve hours, give or take. If we run into any Scotts, what do we do, kids?” 

“Aim for the head!” They all say. 

“Good job, kids!” 

“Our first family road trip, I’m excited!” Gorgax says, cheerily. 

“Yeah, let’s hope EVERYBODY is on their best behavior.” Ballester says sternly. A few hours pass by. “We’re entering the untouched area of the United States, you smell that? That’s all the corpses that haven’t been picked up yet, roll ‘em up. Everyone closes their windows and Ballester turns on the air conditioning 

“Hon, could you lower that a little bit? Remember, half of us are cold blooded.” Gorgax says. 

“Ooh, yeah, sorry hon, I forget sometimes.”  

“It’s alright, dear.” she gives him a peck on the cheek. 

“See how clean these corpses are? The animals and Scotts have been feasting.” Another few hours go by and they come across a couple of Scotts fighting over a rotting corpse. Ballester stops the van. “OK, everyone got your guns?” Everyone c***s their gun. “Well, which of you kids is going to-” Ruzal fires and misses. 

“Dad, I had that, you distracted me with your talking.” Ruzal says.  The Scotts just stare at them. 

“You watch your mouth, son. Now someone else take a turn.” The other three are hesitant. “We’re not going home until everyone here kills a Scott. Me and your mother are professionals so we go last. Oigres, come on son.” Oigres juggles grenades with precision, with them all landing on the corpse, and blowing up the two Scotts with it. “Son, that was incredible, how did you do that?”  

“I used my multipupils like a targeting system, I was able to locate and calculate the arc of the grenades to the distance of the corpse. I’ve been working on that one for quite some time.” 

“I should bring you on hunts with me!” 

“Hey, what about me?” Ruzal whines. 

“You missed.” Ballester says. 

“It’s not fair, he has like, twenty pupils in each eye, he can see better than I can, meanwhile, my giant pupils are too big for the scope on this stupid gun!” 

“So get a bigger scope.” 

“You watch, I’m going to get more kills than anyone!” 

“I just feel bad for the Scotts, they’re too stupid to understand anything.” Nyvar says. 

“It’s ok baby doll, Scotts are barely even people, they’re clones, so we’re doing them all a favor.” Ballester says. 

“If you say so, daddy.” 

“Come on, everyone back in the car, we’re not at California yet!” A few more hours go by, and everyone is getting tired. “Alright, lets stop in at this hotel- doesn't seem to be open.” He breaks his way through the main office and grabs a random room key. “Ok, room, 4.” They go into the hotel room and sleep. They get back on the road in the morning. “Alright, we’re almost there! Just another hour to go, I spotted some Scott droppings, so there may be some near here.” A little farther and they come across three Scotts, one is blowing another while getting fucked in the a*s by the third. Ballester stops the car, and everyone piles out. “All right, show me what you got, kids!” Oigres shoves a grenade in one Scott’s a*s, while another one’s head explodes from Ruzal’s gunshot. Nyvar is trembling, trying to shoot it with her Pink Pony Pistol, but she misses. Nogal has two swords in his hands, and he chops the last Scott into pieces.” “Great job, kids1 Really!” He approaches Nyvar. “What’s the matter, baby doll?” 

“I don’t wanna shoot them!” Nyvar says. 

“Why?” 

“Because, I wanna be a healer when I grow up, I can’t hunt, even if it is Scott.” 

“Sounds like you found your calling, kiddo. Study up, and by the time the world gets restructured, you’ll be one of the best doctors ever!” 

“You really think so?” 

“Yeah, I believe in all my kids, you’re a part of me, and if I’m the best, then my kids will be the best, no matter what they end up doing. You don’t have to hunt if you don’t want to. You can keep the pistol, you still might need it for self defense. Heard a lot of survivors went feral cause they were the only person for miles. There are small bands of people here and there, but all they’ll want is food. I usually put them out of their misery, better than starving to death.” 

“Dad, that’s horrible.” 

“I kill the feral people too, if it makes you feel any better.” 

“No, it doesn’t!” 

“Whatever, just get in the car.” 

“I can’t believe you get paid to do this.” 

“Me neither.” He grins. He starts driving again, and finally reach California. There’s a small cluster of five Scotts in the middle of the street staring at something. “This one’s daddy’s.” He says as he slams on the gas and plows straight into the group of Scotts, killing them all instantly. He eases up on the gas, and stops the van, and reverses it. “Wow, they got distance! They don’t seem to be moving, so let’s go, Next cluster will be for mom, I know she’s been itching since you kids were born to kill something.” 

“You too, mommy?” 

“Yeah, sorry kiddo, but don’t worry, I respect your decision too. There’s no law that says you HAVE to participate in a hunt, and if you really feel that way, then I’ll know who to go to when I need some quick triage.” Gorgax says to Nyvar, winking. 

“Deal.” The deeper they get into California, the more rotted it is, more corpses picked clean, and the worst smell imaginable.  

“Ok, everyone, we’re going to need masks. This smell is going to be real bad when we get out of the car.” Ballester says as he puts on his own mask. “Everyone nice and snug?  Anyone need help with their mask?” The kids tell him that they’re good. They all get out of the car, and at least twenty Scotts are scrambling from corpse to corpse, eating the s**t first, and then moving on to the body. Gorgax takes the bazooka out, and fires on three clumps of Scotts. 

“Ok, you boys can join me now.” Gorgax says. The boys eagerly rush the remaining Scotts and terminating them in bizarre, hilarious ways. Nogal shoves a sword up one Scott’s a*s, picking him up and spinning him around the blade, grinding up his insides. Ruzal shoots one Scott in the nuts, exploding them before doing the same to his head. Oigres just hands Scott a grenade who holds it and stares at it until it blows up. Ballester gives his gun to a Scott who blows his own head off. Soon, all the Scotts are dead.  

“Great job, family!” Ballester says. “Where did Nyvar go?” They go searching for Nyvar and find her tending to a wounded Scott. “Oh, baby doll, that’s the opposite of the mission.” 

“Well, this is MY mission.” She says as she finishes. “I want to keep this one as a pet.” 

“Well, ok but he stays outside.” 

“Deal.” They all hop in the van, and head back to the lab, another 13 hours. The kids fall asleep on the way home, and Ballester and Gorgax wake them up. 

“We’re home.” Gorgax tells them. They straggle their way through the building to their unit room, to their own bedrooms. “You know, Ballester, I haven’t showered in almost two days, you know what we can do...” 

“Can we do it in the morning? I’m kinda wiped out.”  “Alright, we’ll send the kids out first so they don’t bother us.” 

“Sounds good, babe.” They immediately pass out. The next day, the sound of the kids wakes them. “Go time?” 

“Go time.” Gorgax leaves the bedroom and talks to the kids. “Ok, since you guys did such a great job yesterday, you may talk to Ultimate Ruler Serge about your future careers.” The kids, excited, rush out of the house. “I figure they’re almost three, they’re gonna be teenagers, it’s the best time to train them.” 

“When did you talk to Serge?” 

“Last night when we got home, he was talking to some brains.” 

“Yeah, I think they wanna conquer something, he’s being really secretive about it.” 

“He can do what he wants, he rules the universe.” 

“I thought it was just the world.” 

“If he truly has the sight of God, then yeah, he controls our universe.” 

“No wonder he’s an evil dick.” 

“Now, are we going to talk, or are you going to share this tub with me?” 

“You don’t gotta ask me twice, baby.” Ballester gets in the tub and joins his wife. Meanwhile, the kids head over to Serge’s lab. 

“So, I hear you guys have chosen your careers. I assume you’re following in your parents’ footsteps?” Serge asks them. 

“I do.” Ruzal says. 

“What about the rest of you?” 

“I wanna help Gorgon terraform Earth.” Nogal says. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I know the history of both of my ancestral planets, and I want to give Earth a second chance until our scientists figure out a way to give Galaxia theirs.” 

“Oh, that project was abandoned last year, turns out the saturation goes all the way to the core.” 

“Well, since this is my home planet anyway, I’ll do what I can to make it perfect like it was before man destroyed it.” 

“Gorgon, could you come in here please?” Gorgon enters a few seconds later. 

“What’s up?” Gorgon asks. 

“Nogal here would like to go under your wing, he wants to help terraform the world.” 

“Welcome to the team, son. Training will begin immediately, welcome to a new school.” Nogal follows Gorgon to his part of the building, gets his own uniform, and begins studying. 

“Alright, Ruzal, you wanna do what your dad does? Fine, but you can only be escorted by him or your mom until you turn four.” Serge says. 

“Ugh, fine!” Ruzal says. 

“Once your father is done f*****g your mother, your training will begin.” 

“Ew, didn’t need to know that, dude.” 

“Go wait in the training room. Oh, and if you ever go rogue unassigned, I will suspend you indefinitely, and if you decide to go rogue on suspension, you will be jailed. If you escape jail, you will be terminated on sight, is that clear?” 

“Yes sir.” He leaves the room. 

“What about you two?” 

“I wanna be a doctor.” Nyvar says. 

“We could use one of those around here, people getting hurt on missions, it gets me behind on my work when I have to fix them up. He opens his desk drawer and tosses her a key. Down the hall and to the left is a perfect room you can use for a medical bay. Along with what it takes for you to be a doctor, I want you to study my experiments’ medical files, know how to operate on any of them at any time. You can find a few Ph.Ds worth of medical information on the computer in there. I want you studying until you feel like you are ready to take on actual patients.” 

“I already had my own first patient, I saved a Scott’s life.” 

“You mean this Scott?” Serge shows footage of the chained up Scott breaking his own neck and dying. “I told you, there’s nothing you can do but put them out of their misery.” 

“I’ll still do my best to heal everyone else though.” 

“Better get studying! She leaves and finds her office. And what do you wanna be when you grow up?” 

“Your assistant.” Oigres says. 

“Hmm, I suppose I could use a new assistant ever since Oswald died, and Eyes isn’t very useful. Alright, how smart are you?” 

“I’ve excelled at all of my studies, Expert Level. I am three grades ahead.” 

“Welcome aboard.”