Chapter XV: Return of the Ching

Chapter XV: Return Of The Ching  

A huge, round shadow comes and goes, the sound of sawblades making a chinging sound can be heard, followed by evil, robotic, laughter. Ballester looks out his window. “F**k. I thought I got rid of them all.” I felt like it. “Manboutu, I need you suited up, your acid is the only thing that can dissolve it!” 

“What is it?”  

“It’s a Ching!” 

“What’s a Ching?” 

“A living, deadly, emoticon.” 

“A what?” 

“Yeah, you heard me. Serge accidentally made them.” 

“Accidentally?” 

“Or so he says.” Manboutu gets suited up, and Ballester takes out his phone. “Yo bro, I need your help.” Hallester shows up within a few minutes. 

“What the f**k is that thing?” Hallester asks. 

“It’s called a Ching. They’re hard as f**k to kill. I’ve never seen one this big. Manboutu, you’re going to need to stay at a distance. Unlike me, you won’t come back if you die.” 

“Understood.” Manboutu says. 

“Please tell me you carry explosives.” Ballester says to Hallester. 

“Um, no, actually. I just use my knife.” Hallester says. 

“Knife ain’t gonna cut it.” 

“Well, what else am I supposed to-” Hallester gets eaten by the Ching, but because Hallester is invincible, the only effect the Ching’s sawblade teeth has on Hallester, is that he feels like chewing gum. Manboutu starts shooting his acid at the Ching, having a great effect on it, but because of it’s size, it’s still going to take time to kill. Ballester takes out his bazooka and shoots a few missiles into it, making holes, but because the Ching is chewing Hallester, it is slowly regenerating at the same time. 

“S**t, I gotta get Hallester out of there, keep shooting it, Manboutu!” 

“Sorry, I need a break, I worked today and I’m running a little low on toxin.” 

“S**t, s**t, s**t!” Ballester yells as he’s avoiding the Ching’s eye lasers. He jumps into the Ching’s mouth, throws out Hallester, and gets grinded up by the teeth, making the Ching grow bigger. Hallester grabs Ballester’s bazooka and starts firing, hitting the Ching in the eyes, blinding it. Manboutu gets up and fires a few more shots, cutting the Ching in half vertically. Hallester keeps firing, and Ballester starts throwing grenades into the mouth. Manboutu recharges again. They keep bombing it, blowing small chunks of it at a time. Manboutu fires a few more shots, leaving just the Ching’s eye floating in the air. He collapses. The eye is still capable of firing lasers, and is only blowing up the missiles and grenades thrown at it. “F**k, what do we do?” Hallester grabs his knife, throws it at the eye, and it gets stuck. The knife glows red, and the Ching explodes. “Don’t say it, I know.” 

“’Don’t bring a knife’ he says.” 

“Shut the f**k up, dude. He picks up Manboutu and carries him on his back as they head back to the lab. 

“Woah, what happened to him?” Serge asks, pointing to Manboutu who is regaining consciousness. 

“He overexerted himself.” Ballester tells him. 

“Hey, boss, can I get a day off?” Manboutu asks Serge, groggily. 

“Sure, you’ve earned it, take two.” 

“Thanks, boss.” 

“No problem, that was the new model of Ching. Eye lasers, what’d you guys think?” 

“It was f*****g painful.” Hallester says. 

“Hah, I bet it chewed you up like chewing gum, didn’t it? With your unbreakable skin, I figured it could only chew on you. Did it have the effect of regeneration?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That’s because Chings eat to grow bigger or repair itself. Because it can’t eat you, it could only slowly regenerate instead.” 

“Well, I’m glad your little science project worked out!” 

“Thank you, I hope you guys will fight more in the future.” 

“What? F**k that!” 

“Did you think Scotts were your only target? That’s too easy! Now, Ballester and Gorgax killed the last batch. They’re bigger, badder, and hungrier. There’s still nine more out there somewhere in the world. Better prepare the kids, they’re going to need to learn how to take them down.” 

“Why would you do all of this on purpose?” Ballester asks. 

“What part of evil genius is nobody understanding? Just cause I’m a cool boss doesn’t mean I’m not evil.” 

“But we’re like your family or something, right?” 

“You’re experiments, all of you. Sure, I get that we do have some sort of familiar bond, but at the end of the day, you’re all just experiments to me, and I feel the best way to keep my experiments on their toes is by introducing other experiments into the mix.” 

“That sounds absolutely insane!” 

“I am a mad scientist, what did you think ‘mad’ meant, it doesn’t mean angry, it means insane. That night changed me just like it changed you.” 

“Ok, whatever. Hallester took it down with a knife, how?” 

“Ooh, that’s a hard shot to make. He hit the laser at the source, and when it fired, the knife blocked the shot, it overheated and exploded. Guess you really are quick, ain’t ya?” 

“Yes sir.” Hallester says. He looks at Ballester with a smirk on his face. 

“Credits transferred, have a nice day.” Manboutu hobbles towards his room, drained. Ballester and Hallester leave too. “Oigres.” 

“Yes, sir?” Oigres asks. 

“Don’t tell him about the modifications I made to the others. You may assist in defeating them, you could say you heard a rumor of one might be, but do not reveal the weaknesses or modifications I made to the other models. Do you understand me?” 

“Yes sir.” 

“You’d better, I don’t want to have to terminate you.” 

“Sir?” 

“You heard me.” 

“Yes sir. Sir?” 

“Yes, Oigres?” 

“Can I prepare properly for each battle?” 

“No, you will bring your standard kit, I don’t want to make them suspicious.” 

“Yes sir.”  

“You can tell him about the one that’s only fifty miles from here, that’s a good place to start.” 

“That’s one of the more dangerous ones sir!” 

“That’s why you’ll be there to help him defeat it. Your brothers, too. Your uncle can stay out of this one, unless you use him for bait.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“If Ching is chewing on Hallester, it’ll be too distracted trying to eat him that you can attack it.” 

“But sir, that’s so cruel.” 

“Did you forget who you were working for?” Serge sighs. 

“Yes sir, sorry sir.” 

“Just go home, your shift is just about over, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Yes sir.” Oigres leaves the lab. 

“Good kid, I wonder just how far he’ll go to please me before I end up crossing a line. Apparently using his uncle to get purposely chewed on wasn’t it, but I’ll find it one day.” Oigres goes back home, and Ballester stops him. 

“Hey son, how was work?” Ballester asks. 

“It was fine, I guess. Serge wanted to let you know there’s another Ching 50 miles south of here.” 

“Oh sweet, a bonus! Ah, but I can’t call Manboutu, he’s currently wiped out. And Hallester is only good for being chewed on, and I can’t take down an entire Ching by myself.” 

“He suggested we go with you, and to bring your brother specifically to get chewed on.” 

“Hah, that’s hilarious! All right, everyone get your gear, we’re going to hunt us down a Ching!” 

“I would like to come too, it has been a while since I fought a Ching, and after the last hunt, I’ve been wanting to get back into it.” Gorgax says. 

“Well, it’s no family road trip, but sure.” Is Nyvar going to be ok here by herself?” 

“That would be inadvisable.” Nyvar chimes in. “The whole family is going against a Ching, I need to be around in case of emergency. “Only dad and Uncle Hallester can handle the abuse that thing puts out, the rest of you can’t.” 

“Can’t argue with that, alright, everyone get in the van!” He calls Hallester. “Come to the van, we’re gonna fight another one, this time as a family.” Everyone gets in the van, and they fly until they see the Ching. They land the van.  

“Before everyone heads out, I have something for the boys.” Gorgax says. “Corrodium grenades for Oigres, Corrodium ammo for Razul, and a Corrodium sword for Nogal.” The boys accept the gifts with excitement. “And an ointment in case it touches one of us.” She says as she gives Nyvar a tube. “The most important thing about developing a weapon is how to counter it in case it’s used against you.” The Ching spots them and heads closer, shooting lasers out of its eyes. Hallester throws his knife, but it just magnetizes to the Ching. 

“F**k.” Hallester says. Oigres tosses a few Corrosium grenades, and Razul starts shooting. They do some, but minimal damage. Nogal jumps and slides his Corrosium sword straight down the middle of the Ching. The Ching just floats there, in two halves, just smiling. It then turns into two Chings of equal the original size. 

“S**t.” Ballester says. Oigres throws a bunch of Corrodium grenades into the mouth of one, and it dissolves. 

“High concentration.” Oigres says. “Unfortunately, I’m out of bombs.” Razul fires his rifle in one spot, and knocks out an eye. It doesn’t regenerate. 

“I gotta reload!” Razul says. Nogal runs and smacks the Ching in the face with the broad side of the sword, dissolving the front half of its face, the back half falls to the ground. Gorgax shoots the innards with her Corrodium pistol, disintegrating it. 

“Well, that was easy.” Gorgax says. 

“That multiplying thing is new though.” Ballester says. 

“So is the magnetic force.” Gorgax says. 

“My knife.” Hallester starts crying. “That was my favorite knife.” 

“C’mon, you crybaby, let’s go.” Ballester says. They all pile into the van and fly home. They go into the lab and report to Serge. 

“Nice job, guys! When did you have time to come up with those Corrodium weapons?” Serge asks. 

“I had a feeling the Chings would return, so I made weapons while I was raising the kids just in case.” 

“How did you know what they’d all be using?” 

“I didn’t, I have more variants at home, this is just their style, so I picked what I thought was appropriate.” Gorgax tells Serge. 

“All right, well, since this was a group family effort, everyone gets paid!” They all cheer. They all leave the lab except Oigres. “Something I can do for you?” 

“You paid dad and Uncle Hallester even though they didn’t do anything. If what you claim is true, you know that.” 

“I’m in a good mood today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” Oigres heads back to the apartment. 

“I didn’t expect them to get through it so quickly, impressive. The children seem to be advancing quite well, what do you think, Brains?” 

“Continue current plan, difficulty will increase, we’ll see how good they are then.” Brains says. 

“Good point, but remember Manboutu is also a variable.” 

“Regardless, they will still face certain challenges.” 

“I guess you’ve got a point there. I’m heading back to my place, hold the fort.” 

“Literally? Because I am currently unable-” 

“No, it was a joke. That’s why I have a guard dog.” Serge signals to Eyes he can go home and he does. Serge shuts off the lights and makes his way to his apartment.