Chapter XIX: Serge and Oigres

Chapter XIX: Serge And Oigres 

Memo to all employees: 

Hey, this is your boss and ruler here. Everyone gets the day off today. Ballester, Hallester, Gorgax, Manboutu, no hunting today. Manboutu, take this day to recharge your toxins. Nyvar, due to the lack of hunting, you may have the day off too unless an emergency happens. Gorgon and Nogal, take the day off, the terraforming project will still be there tomorrow. Chimmy, turn on the electric fence and put your feet up, things will go back to normal. Me and Oigres are going to be working on an experiment and we do not want to be disturbed. Thank you for your cooperation, and have a great day off. Oh, and Eyes, you can take the day off too. 

“So, boss, are you really sure you wanna do this?” Oigres asks. 

“Yeah, first of all, we need to synthesize a new Shitbag. The Scotts will be attracted to him, and hopefully it’ll draw your brother out.” Serge says. 

“It’s been over a month, how do we know he’s even still alive?” 

“You guys are pretty resilient.” 

“Ok, if you say so, I just hate that we keep this secret from everyone, I mean, if they knew you were constantly cloning Scott-” 

“Don’t even mention it.” 

“Alright, fine, geez!” 

“Nobody is supposed to know we have the original Scott.” 

“How did you manage to keep him from running out?” 

“He was the only one just standing there, so I knocked him out and put him in suspended animation until I rebuilt the cloning machine.” 

“So, you just clone him to, what, keep my family busy?” 

“Something like that. Your parents are warriors, all they know is killing, so I figured the best way was to give them something to kill.” 

“But my brother might be a Scott now.” 

“Yes, but another transfusion and he’d be back to normal.” 

“I just want my brother back.” 

“I know you do, that’s why I’m trying to help.” 

“It’s weird that after a month, we still haven’t found him.” 

“Well, since he’s not a complete Scott, he’s smarter than they are.” 

“Why do you think he’s doing this?” 

“It’s probably because of the attachment to the Scotts.” 

“Did you really have to wipe my dad’s memory when he found Scott in the cloning machine?” 

“Yes, nobody is supposed to know except me.” 

“Then why am I privy to the information?” 

“Because I need an assistant. Besides, you’re going home with a clean mind too.” 

“Do I have to?” 

“I can’t risk anyone else knowing.” 

“I swear, I won’t tell anyone!” 

“I’m sorry, it’s a necessary precaution. Did you get a subject?” 

“Yeah, he was more than willing if it meant getting paid.” 

“People are so easy to dupe. Turn on the splicer.” Oigres powers up the machine and the process begins. The man’s body degrades into feces, and a rubber coating forms on him. Within an hour, the transformation is complete. 

“Hi everyone, it’s great to be back!” Shitbag says, cheerily. 

“Welcome back, Shitbag.” Serge says. 

“Being torn apart by wolves was horrible! I felt everything!” 

“Well, that’s because you still have human nerves in your body. I’m surprised you were able to retain your memory.” 

“Well, that’s because I’m still Shitbag, the person inside me doesn’t matter!” 

“That’s good enough for me.” 

“So, why’d you bring me back to life?” 

“Scott.” 

“But, I’m useless at fighting Scotts!” 

“Yes, but you can attract them.” 

“Am I going to be bait again?” 

“Sort of, one of our own may have transformed into a Scott, and we need to bring him back. His name is Ruzal.” 

“The alien/human hybrid with human skin and eyes the size of his mother’s but the actual eyes looking like his father’s?” 

“Yeah, he was bitten by a Scott and he may have turned into one, he’s been missing for a month.” 

“Will I be able to recognize him?” 

“As far as we know, he still looks the same, he just acts like Scott.” 

“Is Ballester escorting me? I love Ballester!” 

“No, I gave him the day off. In order for this to work, they can’t feel provoked, so you’re going by yourself.” 

“Do I have to?” 

“Yes, they’re sexually attracted to s**t, and since your stench is-” Serge throws up in a bucket. “-so strong, it shouldn’t take you long to find them.” 

“You electrified the fence, how am I supposed to get out?” 

“I can control the gate from here, look.” He points to a monitor showing the gate. “I’ll be able to watch you until you leave the premises.” 

“Alright, so after he finds me, then what?” 

“Then you come back here.” 

“But what if Scotts follow too?” 

“That’s alright, that’s what the Grinder is for.” 

“Ok, well, wish me luck.” 

“I don’t have to, now get moving.” Shitbag leaves, and Serge watches the monitors, and lets Shitbag out. 

“So what do we do now, just wait?” Oigres asks. 

“Yeah, in the meantime, I’m going to do a Ching search.” 

“You said there’s seven left, right?” 

“Yeah, I tried to get them to spread worldwide, but they don’t seem to want to leave the continent.” 

“Well, I guess that’s good, that just means they don’t have to go far to fight them.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“I know you’re going to erase my mind later, but there’s something I don’t wanna forget.” 

“And what’s that?” 

“I’ve finally decided to open my own lab.” 

“Good, which section do you want?” 

“With your permission, I’d like to take over the astronomy lab. I want to see if there are other alien races out there, fill in some more of the population. And...” 

“And what?” 

“I wanna perform gene splicing with them. It works on Galaxians and humans, I wanna see what else is out there, and what else we can make. Just look at me and my siblings, we’re sort of an experiment ourselves.” 

“So, you want to, what, mate with other alien species?” 

“Not quite, I want to mate alien species with other alien species, and sort of make an army of super powered hybrids. You know, kind of like how you do, and if I’m right, my interference could cause a hostile species to invade Earth, and I wanna be prepared for that with my army.” 

“Hm, intriguing. Permission granted.” 

“I really hope Shitbag finds my brother.” 

“Well, if not, we could always clone him, remember, I have everyone’s DNA on file.” 

“Would he be the same?” 

“Yes and no. His personality would be intact, but his memory wouldn’t be there.” 

“I see, so it would be better to have the original.” 

“Correct, and I’m sure he’s gathered massive amounts of data on the Scotts if he’s living among them.” 

“Don’t you already know enough about Scotts?” 

“On the contrary, I just know that in their current state, they’re running on instinct. Also, thanks to your brother, their stupidity is contagious.” 

“Mind if I start setting up shop while we wait?” 

“Yeah, sure, go ahead. I’ll page you when Shitbag gets back.” 

“If he comes back.” Oigres leaves the lab and goes to his own, setting up the equipment he needs. A few hours later, Serge pages him. “Alright, on my way.” When he gets to Serge’s lab, there is Shitbag surrounded by Scotts and Ruzal. “Bro!” Oigres runs up to hug Ruzal, but Serge intercepts him. 

“Duh, I’m Scott!” Ruzal says as he starts humping Shitbag who pushes him away. 

“It’s been like this the whole way here.” Shitbag says. 

“Alright, Shitbag, hold Ruzal back.” Serge says. Shitbag holds Ruzul’s arms. “Go ahead, Oigres.” Oigres pushes the remaining Scotts into the Grinder and Ruzal starts freaking out. Once they’re all through, Serge sedates Ruzal. Oigres carries Ruzal to Nyvar’s office and pages her. She shows up a few minutes later, and she begins the transfusion. A few hours later, Ruzal wakes up. “Hey, can you understand me?” 

“Duh, yeah, Serge.” Ruzal says. 

“Do you remember anything about your time with the Scotts?” 

“Duh, yeah. There was a lot of boopy and nummers.” 

“What?” 

“I think he means that all they did was have sex and eat.” Oigres says. 

“Yeah, fun!” Ruzal says. 

“I think he needs another transfusion, but I can’t supply anymore without going into deficit.” 

“I’ll do it.” Nyvar volunteers. Another transfusion, and another few hours later, Serge tries interrogating him again. 

“Do you know who you are and where you are?” Serge asks Ruzal. 

“Well, duh, I’m Ruzal and I’m in the medical office for some reason.” 

“Do you remember your time with the Scotts?” 

“Yeah, it was kind of gross. So much sex, and s**t, and cannibalism.” 

“What else can you tell us?? Is there some kind of hierarchy?” 

“No, there’s no leader, they just do whatever the f**k they want.” 

“If you want, I can erase your time with them.” 

“Yes, please. I don’t think I could live with myself after all the things I’ve done. Having sex with Scotts, dead animals, eating dead Scotts, and s**t, so much s**t was eaten.” He sniffs. “Is Shitbag around? I kind of have a crush on him.” 

“Maybe one more transfusion to get rid of that feeling?” 

“What? No, I’ll get over it, I’m sure I will. Thanks for bringing me back.” They all head back to Serge’s lab, and Shitbag is sent to his room. 

“Alright, so I’m going to wipe Oigres’ memory except for his request, Nyvar, you’re gonna be wiped too, is there anything from today you want to save?” 

“Make me think my brother never left.” Nyvar says. 

“Done. Ruzal, I’m going to wipe out your entire Scott experience. You’ve provided valuable data. Is there anything you wanna save?” 

“No, and get rid of my fondness for them, I wanna go back to killing them again.” 

“Deal.” He hooks them up to a machine and ends up wiping their memories. They wake up in their respective rooms, not knowing what happened.