Chapter XXI:

Chapter XXI:  

One day, Ballester is eating s**t off the floor, when a Scott shows up and starts humping him. Ballester makes out with the Scott, and they begin to strip. “Hey!” Ballester yells up at me. 

“Sorry, I had to start the chapter of ridiculously.” I tell him. Anyway, Ballester pops the Scott in the brain, and heads home. He heads to Serge’s lab to fill out his paperwork. 

“Watch your step.” Serge tells him. 

“Why?” 

“I don’t want you to hit !” Serge makes a noise to pronounce the name. 

“Uh, what?” 

“Come stand next to me, !” The sound of footsteps can be heard, but nobody is seen. 

“Who are you talking to?” 

“!” 

“!?” 

“Yeah, !” 

“Is that a person, or...? 

“Technically, he was Galaxian, but like everyone else I’ve experimented on, he’s now something totally different, he’s completely invisible!” 

“Hi, nice to meet you!” says. 

“I’m Ballester, who are you?” Ballester waves his hand around, until he makes contact with ‘s hand. 

“Technically, my name is , but you can just call me !” 

“You come up with the weirdest names, Serge.” 

“I know, it’s what I do. I figured, he’s completely invisible, unless someone knows about him, he doesn’t exist, and those of us that do know him, we just call him ! As a nickname. It lets others in our team know he’s there, but the enemy won’t, they’ll just think you’re grunting.” 

“Admit it, you just couldn’t come up with a clever enough name.” 

“I wish that were the case, but I received word from Oigres and Gorgon that the Zorkons are on their way to take our planet. They heard about the End of the World too, but they don’t know the Galaxians are already here, so they think we’re easy pickings. We’re going to war soon, Ballester. I know you already fought in one, but I’m going to need you to do it again. Also, everyone here will be in charge of their own teams, you’ll be finding that I’ll be doubling down on my experimentations. ! Is just the second of many Galaxians that will join our ranks. I want us to put together a commercial premiered globally recruiting anyone who wants super powers. We’re going to have to screen everyone who applies, so you may not be hunting for awhile.” 

“How long do we have?” 

“A few months.” 

“Ok, what do we do in case of a Ching invasion?” 

“I already reprogrammed them to only attack the Zorkons. Luckily, Gorgon had information about them. Apparently, they like to go around conquering and populating planets. The Galaxians are lucky their planet is a s**t ball, the Zorkons can’t do anything with it.” 

“So, am I going to train !?” 

“If you would please. Here, take these goggles, it’ll allow you to see him.” 

“Oh good, I was wondering how this was gonna work.” He puts the goggles on, and sees a shimmering Galaxian shaped silhouette standing next to Serge. “So, aside from being invisible, what other powers do you have?” lifts his hand and shoots a beam of light out, disintegrating a fodder box. 

“The best part is the light is invisible too, not only will they not see me coming, but they won’t see their death coming either.” says. 

“Sweet, wanna obliterate some Scotts?” 

“Sure!”  

“Let’s go.” They head out the gate and start looking around. Ballester sees a bear prowling around. “Kill it.” aims and shoots the bear, turning it into a pile of ash. “Nice!” 

“Thanks, it’s super easy to control. Watch, zap, zap, zap.” A tree is disintegrated, a boulder is disintegrated, and a Scott is disintegrated. 

“You’d uh, better be careful with that.” 

“Yeah, I guess so, huh? That’s why Serge gave me these gloves. They’re as invisible as the rest of me and they suppress my powers.” 

“He sure does think of everything, doesn’t he?” 

“Well, he is the exalted ultimate ruler.” 

“Yeah, I guess he is.” 

“What power did he bestow upon you?” 

“Immortality and super strength.” 

“Do you like your job?” 

“I love it, I get paid to kill things.” 

“Well, that is good to hear. I’m having fun being invisible and shooting light out of my hands.” 

“But doesn’t it bother you that he didn’t even bother to think of a name for you? What kind of god does that?” 

“I find it appropriate, to other people I don’t exist, so what’s the point of a name?” My name before was Bunzimianalforgickz. I’ve always hated it, and with a new identity, I can choose if I exist. To you and the others back home I do, but to our enemy, I don’t. My existence can never be known, and that is why you pronounce my name as ‘!’, it lets me know where I’m needed.” S**t suddenly falls to the ground. 

“Did you really just s**t?” 

“You could see that? Guess that won’t be very covert, huh? I guess my waste isn’t invisible, even though all my other systems are.” 

“By the way, you gotta be really covert. Not only is your s**t going to attract Scotts, but your body glows when you fire, so you can’t do close combat with these alien pricks that are coming, you’re going to have to learn how to snipe. My second oldest should be able to teach you, he’s a master sniper.” 

“I’m going to be a sniper?” 

“Think about it, you’re invisible, and you don’t leave a trace as long as you can keep your piss and s**t until after you’re done. Sniping is the perfect job for you, you could vaporize the opposition without being seen, long as it’s daylight out.” 

“Or well hidden at night.” 

“That too.” They head back to Serge’s lab. “I think he’d be best as a sniper.” 

“Any stealth mission, really, but yes, that seems like a good strategy. He just needs to learn how to narrow his beam. Get your son, he’s going to take it from here.” 

“I figured.” Ballester pages Ruzal, who shows up. 

“What can I do for ya.” Serge gives a pair of goggles to Ruzal. “Woah, who are you?” 

“I’m “ says. “You could just call me !” 

“Um, ok, !” Let’s get training.” Ruzal has  follow him. 

“Ok, do we have any more people today?” Ballester asks. 

“Nah, you got plans? Serge asks. 

“Not really, why?” 

“Hang back, I gotta talk to you. Let me hit that.” Ballester passes Serge his blunt, and he tokes at it for a bit. “You’re all going to command troops just like you. Manboutu will command frogs, your younger sons will command armies of Galaxian and human armies, while Oigres helps me refill your numbers, if need be. This marketing campaign has to work, we need most of the current population here if we’re fighting a war.” 

“So, I’ll be commanding a bunch of commandoes who can’t die?” 

“Nah, that would be unfair to the other experiments, no. Your guys will just be more durable and stronger than your average person. My drones have brought the last of the remnants of the old world they could find. We have enough guns and ammo to take out the threat, you just gotta give the orders, and if you want, you can have fun with it knowing you can’t die. But remember, if you’re the last man standing, retreat.” 

“I don’t do retreats.” 

“You’re going to have to. I need someone to command Alfredo if he’s needed, and he likes you almost as much as he likes me, so you’re in charge of him. I made some adjustments to his scales, he is now burn proof, even if he’s soaking in gasoline and lit on fire, it wouldn’t affect him. They’re also durable enough to handle explosions, so have fun with him if you need him.” 

“That actually sounds like fun, why can’t I just use Alfredo from the start?” 

“Because he could still die out there, and I don’t want him dead near the end of the battle when we may need him the most.” 

“Gotcha.” 

Humans. Galaxians. Working side by side to help rebuild our planet. Unfortunately, we have an impending enemy coming to destroy us. Apply at Serge’s lab today and enlist! Amenities provided: free room and board, gym, spa, and a 24/7 open kitchen (Credits required) The best part about joining Military Earth? Upon signing up, all inductees will be given super powers (combat participants only) and free education! If combat isn’t your choice, we could use teachers, doctors, and nurses! Learn both human and Galaxian and become even more than you ever thought you could be! Ballester, clearly reading terribly: 

“Join today. I did? And I’ve never... felt better!” Gorgon appears next to Ballester.  

“They were kind enough to let us stay on their planet, the least we could do is help defend it! Won’t you?” He points at the camera. “Buy corn!” Serge shows up. 

“As your ruler, I encourage you to join us!...Are we do-” Within a few days, people start showing up, and get interviewed and sorted. “This is coming along nicely. Sounds like you would be a great fit for Ballester’s squadron, mister...?” 

“Peeves, Kantu Peeves.” The guy says. 

“Well, welcome, training starts immediately, your room is 16A of the Eastern building. Here’s your key. Welcome to the army of the Earth!” 

“Looking forward to it.” He gets up and leaves. 

“Next!” 

“Hi, I’m Andrea.” 

“What position are you looking to fill?” 

“I was hoping you’d still have an opening in medical.” 

“We could use everyone and anyone who can do the job.” 

“Well, I’m a nurse, was a nurse at a hospital, but it’s been slow ever since the End of the World, not many people are left, and nobody’s really getting hurt. Here, I can be useful again.” 

“Good to hear, we could always use a Healer. Are you interested in field medicine?” 

“Let me think about it.” 

“I need an answer now.” 

“I guess I could use some field experience, and I’ll be quicker to save their life.” 

“Done. Training begins immediately, go to the medical bay and Nyvar will teach you what you need to do. He hands her a pin. 

“What’s this for?”  

“As a field medic, you’re going to have powers. Remember the commercial? Only those in the middle of combat will get powers. When the pin lights up, it’s time for your appointment.” 

“What power will I have?” 

“The power to literally heal.” 

“What?” 

“I wasn't kidding in the commercial, almost everyone is getting super powers. The only ones not are the ones working here.” 

“Isn’t that a bit unfair?” 

“I make it clear, they know what they sign up for. Besides, not everyone is thrilled to have super powers.” 

“Huh, that’s pretty interesting, I figured everyone-” 

“Dismissed.” 

“I-” 

“I’m now your boss’ boss’ boss, I run this place, so I am your boss now, dismissed. If you want to chat, I eat lunch at noon every day, I’ll be in the kitchen. Dismissed.” 

“Yes sir!” 

“Next!” She leaves and someone else comes in, a Galaxian. “Name?” 

“Morgor.” 

“Ok, Morgor, what’s your interest in our cause?” 

“Well…”