Chapter XXVII: Zorkon vs Ching!

Chapter XXVII: Chapter 2: Zorkon vs Ching!  

What is this thing? It’s a giant face with razor sharp teeth, and it seems to sharpen its teeth on our skin. Once all the metal is eroded, it punctures through, grinding our insides.  Our lasers are ineffective against it, they just bounce off, and the more it eats, the bigger it gets. According to the database, the only thing that can kill it is extreme fire and acid... just like us... I had all those weapons destroyed so they couldn’t be used against us anymore. “Sir, what do we do?” one of my commanders asks me. 

“I- I don’t know, Maybe lure it to a volcano, the lava should destroy it.” I tell him. 

“Sir, that would take days!” 

“Then take a ship, just get it away from here!” I watch my men board a ship, and the giant face follows them, and devours the ship as soon as it’s airborne. It comes back to the lab. “Damn!” Another one of my men approaches me. 

“Sir, do you have another idea?” 

“Yes, hold on.” I go back into the building, and go to the toxin room, where the frog is being squeezed. “Frog.” 

“What?” the frog answers. 

“I need you to suit up and kill that giant face outside.” 

“I’d really love to help you, but I’m all squeezed out, see?” The jar currently being filled is filling up drop by drop. “besides, why should I help you kill the ching? You killed all of my friends.” 

“Then I’ll kill you if you don’t help.” 

“Go ahead. My body stops producing toxin after death. Not only would you lose your source of toxin, but you’d lose your only chance to kill that ching.” 

“Damn!” 

“Besides, even if you unhooked me now, I’d still need a few hours before I’m able to extract anything, and judging by the screaming outside, your forces are getting depleted out there. How long before you’re the only one left?” 

“I’ll just use that corrosive beam that was used against us! That should destroy it!” 

“Two things wrong with that. First of all, it’s still charging, takes about a month. Second of all, you only get one shot, and as it’s only been a couple of weeks, it won’t be enough to destroy a ching that big.” 

“So how are we supposed to defeat it?” 

“Like I’d tell you. Guess you shouldn’t have destroyed our weapons, huh?” 

“S**t.” 

“So what are you going to do about it?”” 

“I have another idea.” I left the lab and looked around to see who was left. A lot of my army was devoured, I ran to my ship and got in. I start it up, and while the face is busy with my forces, I fire a proton bomb at it. It killed a couple of my guys, but I managed to burn a hole into it, and it shrank down in size. I fired another one, and that seemed to do it. I left my ship and headed back to the lab. “Attention all forces, report to the lab immediately!” I wait for about a half an hour before everyone said they were there. My forces are down to about fifty, as opposed to the 20,000 I started with. Over three quarters were killed during the war, it was close. Then, I lost most of the remaining fighting that ching thing. We’re low, and it’s against protocol to call for reinforcements until the planet is completely taken over. We’ve never failed to conquer a planet before, the penalty is death for any leader who fails. The confidence and complacency I had just a couple of days ago is completely gone. I’m not sure what to do now that the slaves can revolt at any point, but they have no weapons that can kill us, so I’m not worried yet. 

“Sir!” one of my men says. 

“Yes, commander?” 

“I-” He counts on his fingers. “I guess I am commander. Anyway, another one of those face things is here.” 

“I got it.” I run back to my ship, and fire another proton bomb, but it bounces right off the ching, and destroys a ship next to mine. Great, there’s variations of this thing running around. As it approaches my ship, I exit and it devours it, getting bigger. “All right, everyone. Retreat!” 

“Sir?” 

“We’ll make the slaves do it.” I run back into the lab, and unhook the frog. 

“What are you doing? I already told you I wasn’t helping you.” The frog tells me. 

“Well, if you don’t want the slaves to die, you’ll do it. Suit up.” 

“But I need to recharge, I don’t have anything to fire at the Ching.” 

“Well, do your best. I take my rifle and jab it into his back, forcing him outside, where my men are doing the same to the slaves. I see some slaves resisting and being executed. Good, I didn’t even need to tell them, my men know what they’re doing. The slaves face the Ching, and it just floats there, staring at them. Why isn’t it attacking them? It seems to be following my men around. The frog fires a pitiful, tiny amount of acid at the Ching, and it just slides right off. 

“Yeah, looks like acid isn’t going to kill this one.” The frog yells to me. S**t. It continues to just float there, staring at the slaves who just stand and stare back. Why isn’t it attacking them? According to the database, the Ching is supposed to be antagonistic to all life forms on this planet, including humans and Galaxians. So why is it just sitting there? 

“What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just sitting there, usually chings go after us.” At the sound of my voice, the Ching turns around and approaches me. I start running back towards the lab, maybe my laser bazooka will take care of it. I grab one and go back outside and shoot it in the face. It bounces off and wipes out about fifty slaves. S**t, how am I going to kill this thing? I run back into the lab with that thing chasing me. It stops at the doorway, and I turn on the electric fence.  

“Brains?” 

“Yes, sir?” Brains responds. 

“How am I going to defeat this Ching?” 

“Chings are usually defeated using fire, electricity, or acid.” 

“None of those worked on this one. My proton bomb did nothing, my lasers do nothing, and the frog’s acid did nothing.” 

“Alternatively, the giant lizard, Alfredo could be used to devour it as Alfredo has been genetically engineered with anti ching material in its teeth and stomach, however, this is only effective as long as Alfredo is alive.” 

“I killed the giant lizard.” 

“Then no other options remain.” 

“You’ve gotta be kidding!” 

“Invalid inquiry.” 

“You’re useless!” 

“Incorrect, I am installed with the collective knowledge of the computer’s database, I know all there is to know.” 

“Then how do I kill the Ching?” 

“Chings can be defeated using extreme heat, electricity, or acid.” 

“And none of those are working!” 

“In the case of the usual methods being ineffective, Alfredo is the last resort.” 

“Alfredo is dead! I killed him! How else am I going to kill this Ching?” 

“Chings can be defeated with extreme heat, electricity, or acid.” I just scream in frustration and leave the lab. I look out the front door, and notice my men are being chased by this thing. I go back into the lab.  

“How many variations of ching are there?”  

“There are currently ten variations, seven of which are defeated.” 

“So what variations are left?” 

“Current variations remaining: Scott Ching, Invisible Ching, and Invincible Ching.” 

“Finally, progress! How do I defeat the invincible ching?” 

“The invincible Ching cannot be defeated, it is invincible.” 

“There has to be someone who can defeat the invincible Ching!” 

“The only known being in existence that can defeat the invincible Ching is the Ultimate Ruler, Serge.” 

“Serge is dead.” 

“Then you’re screwed.” 

“There has to be some kind of failsafe in the event of Serge’s death.” 

“Invalid, no files found.” 

“Damn!” I turn on the loudspeaker: “Attention, all Zorkons, please return to the lab immediately!” They all show up within a few minutes. “So, looks like that thing out there is only targeting us. I want you to stay in here with me until it leaves.” 

“Sir?” One of them asks. 

“Yes, commander?” 

“What about the statues and monuments? The slaves won’t build them voluntarily.” 

“It’s going to have to be put on hold for now.” 

“But sir, what about the takeover?” 

“Look around you, do you really think we can do that right now? Especially with that thing out there?” 

“I suppose not, sir.” 

“You guys will stay in the lab here with me. Take whatever living quarters you want, and the kitchen is open. The food isn’t quite what we’re used to, but it contains the essential nutrients we need to survive. There is also a heating element, so it will be similar to eating back home, the only difference is we need to heat it up ourselves.” 

“”but sir, our ships have all the food we need, why don’t we just-” 

“Do you really wanna go out there and risk your life getting cages of animals to bring back to eat while that thing is out there? It’s specifically targeting us.” 

“I understand, sir.” 

“Good.” 

“So, what are we to do?” 

“Consider it a much needed break.” 

“Yes sir!” I look at the monitors and see the Ching is just hanging out there with the slaves. Something is wrong, I can feel it, but I can’t put my finger on it... 

“Brains?” 

“Yes?” Brains answers. 

“Why isn’t the Ching destroying the slaves? Why is it only going after my people?” 

“The Chings have been reprogrammed to only track Zorkon DNA.” 

“That explains it. Can I undo it?” 

“Password required.” 

“S**t.” 

“invalid password. Two attempts remaining before lab self destruct is initiated.” 

“Cancel command.” 

“Command Cancelled. What can I help you with today?” 

“How long will the Ching be out there?” 

“Until it is defeated, or until Zorkon DNA is sensed.” 

“Damn! How long until the acid laser is charged?” 

“12 days remaining.” 

“Will it be effective against the Ching?” 

“Chings can be defeated with fire, electricity, or acid.” 

“I know that, will the acid laser be enough to destroy the invincible Ching?” 

“Nothing can defeat the invincible ching except for ultimate Leader Serge.” 

“Damn.” I’m so annoyed and frustrated, not even watching Ballester die and come back to life just to die again is amusing me anymore. As I’m watching the screens, I notice that the slaves are piling themselves into the trucks that brought them here. They’re taking advantage of the situation! If I send my men out there, they’ll surely die. If I do nothing, I lose all my slave labor.  What do I do? We’ve never had any problems taking over a planet, and this planet is starting to become more of a headache than it’s worth. If I surrender and go home, I’ll be executed, if I stay and fight, there is a high probability that I’ll die from that thing out there, or the frog may turn on me, he’s still out there apparently talking to the Ching. This is absolute madness, I’m deadlocked, and my enemies are stronger than me at the moment. If that Ching wasn’t there, I could continue with business as usual. Truckfuls of slaves keep leaving, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Luckily, it’ll take weeks to get them all, so hopefully I can get things back on track before they’re all gone. I noticed that it’s the women, children and elderly that are boarding the trucks. That is not a good sign. “How many of the original 4 million slaves died during construction?” 

“1,297.” 

“And how many are remaining outside right now?” 

“3.7 million and dropping.” S**t. 

“How long until they’ve all gone?” 

“6.3 days non stop.” So that’s how long I have to figure out how to defeat that Ching outside. It’s getting dark out, I feel sluggish, damn my reptilian physiology. I decide to retire for the night. Hopefully I can figure things out by tomorrow. I woke up with nothing, no ideas on how to destroy the ching or keep my slaves from leaving. I helplessly watch on the monitors as trucks show up, load and leave, and the Ching is still floating outside. My men are already starting to become restless, so I sent them to the firing range to blow off some steam. 

“Brains, how many slaves remain?” 

“2.9 million.” Great, they’re gonna be gone in less than a week, and I’m helpless against that abomination floating out there. Then it hits me. 

“Ballester?” I ask when he regains consciousness. 

“What?” He asks before he screams and dies. When he wakes up, I ask him, 

“What’s Serge’s password to shut down the Chings?” He screams and dies again, before waking up and answering, 

“I don’t know, he never told me.” He wakes up, screams, dies, rinse, repeat. well, that's just great. It was dumb of him to not have a contingency in the case of his death, what kind of ruler does that? never mind, don't answer that. Maybe I should make a record of my people for this planet because it doesn't look like I'm going to survive this. My numbers are low, there's an unbeatable force out there, and I have no idea what to do next. As I mentioned before, if this gets back to my superiors, I’m going to leave some mark on this planet, even if it’s just my words. I’m going to have it send automatically to my planet in the hopes that another leader can pick up where I left off. This planet WILL be claimed in the name of the Zorkons, I will make sure of it, even if it’s not by me. This should have been an easy assignment, but instead it was more complicated than anticipated. 

“Brains?” 

“Yes sir?” Brains responds. 

“Begin recording on my mark.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Upon completion, transmit to Zorkon VII.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Begin now.” 

“Yes sir.”