Chapter XXXVIII: Fantasy Planet

Chapter XXXVIII: Fantasy Planet 

“Ok, so this next planet has an oxygen nitrogen atmosphere, you guys will be fine without suits. My scans indicated several warm blooded creatures, plants, and signs of intelligent life, lemme know what you find. Serge, out.” 

“All right, this time, I’m taking Manbooutu and Oigres.” Ballester says, as they land on the planet. The sky is a navy blue, the grass is hunter green, and the buildings look primitive. The crew leaves the ship, and head towards the nearest building, and knock. A centaur opens the door. 

“Are you a human?” The centaur asks. 

“Yeah, and you’re a centaur! People believe you’re just myths, a creature totally made up, yet here you are.” 

“Yes, here I am. Have you come to enslave us?” 

“Wha- no, we wanna make friends.” 

“Come, I will take you to our chief.” The centaur leaves his home, and head towards a bigger, yet primitive looking building. A minotaur is guarding the entrance. 

“Is that a human?” The minotaur asks. 

“Yes, he’s come to ask for peace.” 

“There is something odd about the other two of you, what are you?” 

“I’m a hybrid human/Galaxian.” Oigres says. 

“I’m a genetically altered mutated Galaxian.” Manboutu responds. 

“Galaxians? We thought you went extinct!” 

“No, we traveled through space as goods dealers to other planets.” 

“Glad to hear your species has survived!” 

“Thanks, if we weren’t so self absorbed, we would have taken the time to explore our own solar system, instead of exploring everywhere else.” The minotaur allows them inside, and follows them. 

“Here he is, Vaalmex.” A black unicorn with a golden horn and blood red eyes is standing there, watching the crew. 

“Humans? Galaxians? Am I hearing this correctly?” Vaalmax asks, in a bassy voice. 

“Yes sir.” Manboutu says. I’m a Galaxian, but I’ve been mutated...twice. I was born with eyes in the back of my head, so the government kept me for study, I was supposed to do recon on enemy ships with my back eyes blending into my costume, so I can look around and keep an eye out for sneak attacks while I’m looking directly at the enemy, talking to him in whatever undercover guise I was under. His boss Serge traded a cat for me. Now I live a life where I’m free to go anywhere after my shift is over, just like a normal life, and all I did was get my DNA combined with one of Earth’s species: a poison tree frog, making use of the toxins that Galaxians use to attract mates as an aphrodisiac/ drug, and worn with a special suit, I can convert that into an acid.” 

“So, you’re not a typical Galaxian?”  

“No, but there are some on the ship, if you want to talk to them.” 

“No, that’s fine, I believe you, we just thought you went extinct.” 

“We would have, had it not been for space travel.” 

“Where did you get the ability to have water in space?” 

“Before we left, our scientists combined lots of hydrogen and oxygen to synthesize some, it took a while, let me tell you. I wasn’t there of course, I’m not nearly old enough, but it’s known a lot of scientists died on that planet synthesizing that much water for us. However, the humans have been kind enough to share their planet with us, as humanity had a reset.” 

“Yes, we picked up the wave too. Odd, considering none of us had heard from Earth in so long.” 

“How do you know about us humans?” Ballester asks. 

“About two thousand years ago, our species not only learned how to co exist, but we were ready for space exploration. On our way through the Milky Way Galaxy, we stopped by a planet called Earth, where humans in sheets ruled the world. Glad to see you’ve evolved past that. We wanted to co exist on your planet and spread our collective species. Instead, your humans locked us in cages and made us fight to the death for their own entertainment! We got out of there as fast as we could.”  

“Well, we’re past that, we’ve basically hit the reset button on our planet.” Ballester says. 

“Do you mind if I study your different species?” Oigres asks. 

“As long as no harm is done to any of them.” 

“I swear by your code and mine, I will not harm anyone.” 

“You look different, almost like a combination of human and Galaxian.” 

“You are correct in that assumption.” 

“Interesting. Would you mind if we studied you?” 

“For how long?” 

“The duration of your visit, I’m sure our scientists would love to exchange information with you.” 

“All right, as long as I can get my samples in the process.” 

“Like I said, as long as no harm comes to anyone.” 

“Likewise.” 

“Do you swear to uphold your truth?” 

“My answer hasn’t changed.” 

“Do you all swear?” 

“Yes we do.” Ballester and Manboutu say simultaneously. 

“You have my permission to wander the city. Do not leave the city except to go back to your ship.” 

“Yes sir.” All three say at the same time. They turn around and leave the building. They stop and take in the view of the city for the first time: Minotaur and centaur relationships, unicorns of every color, ogres, trolls, nymphs, mermaids, witches, fairies, pixies, elves, hobbits, gnomes, giants, all getting along. Any fairy tale creature like these exist on this planet, but no humans. They get weird looks as people pass by. An elf approaches them.  

“Are you human?” the elf asks. 

“Yes, yes I am.” Ballester answers. 

“We thought you were myths, made up stories.” 

“Likewise.” An announcement comes from Vaalmex’s building, and his voice comes from the speakers.  

“This is Vaalmex, please welcome our Human and Galaxian friends, they come in peace.” A crowd starts to form around them. 

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna harm you.” Ballester says, as he puts his hands up. They get barraged with questions. “One at a time, one at a time! We’ve got plenty of time to answer all of your questions. “You there, the overly excited centaur?” 

“Is it true we were used as blood sport?” 

“I don’t know, according to known texts on our planet, all stories were myths, and no physical evidence of your people exists.”  

“Why are you here?” A troll asks. 

“We’re on a mission of exploration, and hopefully, peace.” 

“Hopefully?” 

“We don’t know which species might be hostile towards us, but we’d prefer peace.” 

“I see. My brother is half ogre, what’s stopping me from having him kill you right now?” 

“Absolutely nothing.” 

“Cocky, are we?” A leprechaun says. “How about we test ye? As revenge for all that were slaughtered in the past, you will pay for humanities crimes!” 

“So be it.” 

“Aren’t you scared? I thought humans were scared of death!” An ogre roars. 

“Look, if it’ll get it out of your system, you can kill me. I agree with you. If humans really did all the things you said we did, there has to be retribution, right?” 

“Well, I’m off to find the scientists, have fun, dad.” Oigres says as he walks through the crowd and asks a random Elf where to find the scientists, and gets pointed a direction. 

“So, how do you guys wanna do this? Beheading, torture chamber, whatever you want.” The residents are baffled at Ballester’s responses. 

“I’m gonna do some wandering.” Manboutu says, as he too splits from the group. 

“Well?” 

“Why are you so eager to die, human?” A unicorn asks. 

“Because I’m immortal. You can kill me as many times as you like, and I’ll keep coming back to life.” The crowd gasps. “Yup, so if it’ll satisfy your need for revenge, do your worst.” Well, he was hung, shot with arrows, beheaded, drowned, burned, eaten, torn apart, and crucified. Once they were satisfied, Vaalmex approaches Ballester. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t try to fight back.” Vaalmex says. 

“I promised you I wouldn’t.” 

“Indeed, you used your power of immortality to give my people what they’ve craved for millennia. The sins of your people are therefore washed away, and you are welcome on our planet, anywhere anytime, all due to your selfless act of self sacrifice.” 

“Yeah, well, whatever gets the job done.” 

“Job?” 

“I wasn’t kidding when I said Earth wants to be allies. We were sent to make peace with and ally with any sentient species we come across. You’re actually our second planet, fourth and more species we’ve encountered.” 

“Consider it done, I will alert the other nations on this planet and let them know what you did here today. Truly, the future is here.” 

“So, if you guys have technology, how come you don’t use it?” 

“Oh, we use it, just because we live in ‘primitive housing’ doesn’t mean we still don’t enjoy technology. Did you not feel the air conditioning in my building?” 

“I thought it was surprisingly cold.” 

“Yes, we are not wasteful like you humans, we use hydroelectricity and grow our own food.” 

“Do you- Do the carnivores eat, like, how does that work with you guys?” 

“If they were good, they get buried. If they were bad, we let the trolls and ogres have at it.” 

“Are there that many bad people among your people?” 

“It’s a big world, not everyone follows the law on a planet this big, you should know, being from Earth.” 

“Oh yeah, no, I totally get it.” 

“Seriously though, your sacrifice means a lot, so many on this planet hated humans for so long.” 

“Glad I could help.” Ballester says, looking completely beat up and exhausted. 

“Please, enjoy the rest of your stay. If you want, I’ll put you up in our nicest hotel all and any expenses paid for you and your whole senior staff.” 

“Sounds like fun.” He rendezvous with the other two, and they get back on the ship. “Alright, Gorgax, Arizona, Nogal, Nyvar, Chimmy, to the bridge!” Everyone shows up. “Come on, vacation!” Everyone cheers. And now, a montage of hotel shenanigans that only Ballester and his crew would do. Those, crazy kids. You got Ballester shitting into an ice bucket, while Gorgax rolls her eyes. A prank picture where everyone is facing the camera except Arizona, and then the corrected picture. Ballester and Oigres pranking Gorgax and Nyvar with their heads on plates. Next shot of the both of them getting attacked, heads on backwards trying to run. Chimmy in a speedo, gross. Family photo with Ballester and Gorgax with the kids. Couples kissing picture of Ballester and Gorgax with Oigres and Nogal photobombing giving the double finger.