Chapter XLVII: Negotiations

Chapter XLVII: Negotiations 

“So tell me, what’s the real reason you’re here?” Lord Xaxtar asks. 

“It’s like we said, we’re just here to negotiate a deal with your species.” Ballester says. 

“A deal?” He starts laughing. “You are puny insignificant creatures, what could you have to offer us?” 

“Well, what do you want?” 

“I want to conquer your planet.” 

“Now you know we can’t let you do that.” 

“Then I guess we have nothing else to talk about.” 

“Wait! What if we gave you Mercury?” 

“Mercury? What is that?” 

“It’s the planet in our solar system closest to the sun. It’s nice and hot, you’d love it there.” 

“A planet in exchange for an alliance? Hmm...” 

“Please, it’s the best we can do.” 

“Seems like a weak deal to me.” 

“What do you mean? It’s an entire planet! In OUR solar system!” 

“Hmm...What else have you got?” 

“Well, we’re allies with a few other species.” 

“Hmm...anyone we know?” 

“Well, we’re allies with Fantasix-” 

“Fantasix? Those are our enemy! How dare you?” 

“What? We didn’t know they were your enemy. I know you lost against them, but-” 

“We did NOT LOSE!” He slams his fist on the table. “We never lose.” 

“Well, sure, our species beat you twice, you know that.” 

“Get out of my sight, you are to be executed!” 

“No! Look, we’re also allies with the people of Void Planet too.” 

“Void Planet? Our former home planet? Those people were our prey. You made allies with prey?” 

“Prey?” 

“Did you not notice my throne is made up of their corpses?” 

“I did notice, but I thought it was because you killed them for fun like you do with other planets, we didn’t know you hunted them.” 

“Yes, but as soon as our scientists learned the planet was going to implode, we left them to their fate. We had no idea they were still alive. Thank you for that information, it seems we can go hunting for them again.” He presses a button on his desk. “Send a ship to Void Planet, and bring back the inhabitants, apparently our former prey is still alive.” 

“No!” 

“Too late.” 

“What the f**k is wrong with you, dude?” 

“We conquer. And we conquer all.” 

“If you do this, there will be no negotiation!” 

“Oh? And you’re going to do what?” 

“We can destroy your planet with a push of a button.” 

“You can’t do anything if you’re dead.” 

“I can’t die.” Ballester slits his throat, dies, and gets back up again, the wound on his neck healing. 

“Hm, interesting, so you’re the one we heard about, the unkillable human.” 

“That’s right.” 

“Now things are getting interesting.” 

“How so?” 

“Because I had no idea Earth sent their best warrior to negotiate with me. Fine, you may have your alliance, and we’ll take your planet Mercury.” 

“Call of your forces against Void Planet.” 

“Fine.” He presses the button again. “Belay that order.” 

“I admire your spirit, warrior. It’s too bad you’re not Zorkon, you’d make an excellent asset.” 

“What if... what if I ask my leader to genetically manipulate a clone of me with Zorkon DNA?” 

“You have that technology?” 

“How do you think we got a hot dog man dog and Galaxian frog?” 

“Hmm... So your leader can genetically manipulate anything and anyone?” 

“As far as I know, yeah.” 

“I wish to speak to your leader.” 

“To do that, you’d have to board our ship.” 

“Fine. Guards!” The guards, Xaxtar, Ballester, Gorgax, Chimmy, and Manboutu all go to the ship. 

“Arizona, contact Serge.” 

“Yes sir.” Arizona says. “My sight tells me there are three enemies on board, what do I do?” 

“It’s ok, they’re with us.” 

“If you say so, contacting Serge.” 

“What’s up? Oh, hello! You must be the Zorkons.” Serge says over the monitor. 

“You are the leader of Earth?” Lord Xaxtar asks. 

“Yes I am.” 

“You don’t look like the other human, are you genetically mutated also?” 

“In a way, what do you want, mister-” 

“Lord Xaxtar.” 

“Lord Xaxtar.” 

“I’ve heard you are an expert in genetic manipulation.” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“As part of the negotiation, I would like a clone of the warrior you call Ballester infused with Zorkon DNA, including his ability of immortality.” 

“Well, I could make the genetically altered clone, but I can’t make him immortal, that was a side effect of the disaster that almost killed my planet.” 

“Then the deal is off! I can train any of my soldiers to be as good as your warrior Ballester, it’s the immortality I want!” 

“In order to do that, I’d need to recreate the accident on your planet. Would you really risk your citizens’ lives and possibly your own for one immortal soldier?” 

“No, I would do it for an army of immortal soldiers!” 

“No deal. I know what you do, you conquer. I’m not giving you the ability to be unstoppable.” 

“Fine, then I guess our conversation is over.” 

“Wait, what about Mercury? Did you offer him Mercury?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Ballester says. 

“I don’t want your puny planet, especially if I can’t have my own Ballester.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not going to put the universe in jeopardy.” Serge says. 

“Pity, you’ve made a powerful enemy today, Serge.” 

“So have you, we’ve beaten you before, we can beat you again.” 

“I doubt that, I’m confiscating your ship, and executing your crew. Ballester will be my slave, doing all of my bidding or he will suffer the same fate he did on Earth when Zimzax was in charge.” 

“What? No, you can’t-” 

“Execute the crew.” The guards start firing, and Manboutu starts firing his acid, and Chimmy sets off his flamethrower. The guards start firing their laser rifles, but miss as they get shot first. Out of nowhere, 101 shows up, and disintegrates both guards and turns to face Xaxtan. “What is this? A robot? Judging by your design, I can tell you’re from the Robot Planet.” 

“Planet Automaton.” 101 says, as he fires and disintegrates Xaxtan. 

“Oigres, come in, Oigres!” Ballester says into his communicator. 

“Yeah dad?” Oigres says over the com. 

“Get on board, we’re leaving.” 

“Copy that.” While 101 fires at any Zorkon approaching the ship, Oigres makes his way back, dodging enemy fire. “Ok, I’m here, let’s go!” The door closes and they lift off. Soon, they’re in orbit. Enemy ships take off and follow them. 

“S**t.” Ballester says. “Serge, what do we do?” 

“Destroy the planet.” Serge says. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Either that, or you get captured. You just killed their king, there’s no turning back now.” 

“Engage warhead.” Ballester tells Manboutu. Manboutu presses the button to alert Engineering. “Ok, we need to keep them off our tail while Nogal loads the warhead.” Gorgax takes the controls and starts maneuvering the ship, dodging enemy fire. 

“Can’t we just shoot back?” Chimmy asks. 

“Not while the warhead is being loaded.” Oigres tells him. A shot hits the ship, which knocks it around. 

“How are we on that warhead?” Ballester yells into the intercom. 

“That shot knocked it loose dad, just try not to get shot while I reinsert it.” Nogal says over the intercom. 

“S**t! You got this, Gorgax!” 

“I’m trying!” Gorgax says, as she avoids ships and ship fire. 

“We’re loaded down here, dad!” Nogal says. 

“Manboutu, fire!” Ballester says. 

“Yes sir!” Manboutu says, as Oigres punches in his half of the code. “Ready!” 

“Just do it already!” Manboutu presses the button and fires the warhead at Zorkon VII. “Fly us out of here, hon.” 

“Which way?” Gorgax asks. 

“Away from any of the planets, I feel like this is gonna be a doozy.” Gorgax flies the ship away from Zorkon VII as far as she can, before they see the effect of the warhead start to take place. The planet explodes, and the ripple effect cuts planets Zorkon VI and VIII in half, while putting cracks in Zorkon V and IX. “Holy f*****g s**t, that warhead is crazy powerful!” Ballester looks at Oigres. “I can’t believe you worked on something so destructive.” 

“It was a necessary evil dad, obviously we were left with no choice.” 

“I guess, but holy f*****g s**t!” 

“Yeah, we weren’t counting on the ripple effect to be that strong.” 

“Well, I’m proud of you son. You saved all of our lives.” Suddenly, ships fly up from Planets I-V and IX. They head towards the group’s ship and starts firing. “Goddammit, don’t these fuckers know when to quit?” 

“Apparently not.” The ships start firing, but Gorgax is a good enough pilot to fly away. 

“What do we do now?” Gorgax asks Serge. 

“Run!” Serge says. Gorgax starts flying the ship towards the edge of the solar system, back towards the beginning.