Chapter LI: Back Home

Volume III 

Chapter LI: Back Home 

Hi, Scorpious here, back with a new installment of Ballester Sallone and his friends. When we last left off, they were in space, and about to be blown up by those pesky Zorkons. Luckily, as soon as the oxygen was ignited, Arizona used her power to teleport the entire ship just outside of our solar system. “Arizona, you did it! You got us outta there!” Ballester is jumping around like an idiot, kisses the ground, and kisses Gorgax, who spits out dirt. 

“You couldn’t have kissed me first?” Gorgax says to Ballester, looking perplexed. 

“I uh, guess I didn’t think that out. Great job, Arizona! Arizona?” He approaches the communications center, where Arizona is slumped over, unconscious. “S**t. Nyvar, get up here, I’ve got a patient for you!” Within minutes, Nyvar gets on the bridge with a nurse. She checks Arizona’s heartbeat and breathing. 

“Let’s get her down to the medical bay!” Nyvar says. 

“Is she going to be all right?” Ballester asks. 

“I think so, my guess is the amount of power needed to take us so far in an instant was too much for her. They get her on the gurney and head into the lift. “I’ll let you know her status once I know more.” 

“Thanks, sweetie.” 

“No problem, dad.” They use the lift down. 

“I’ll take over her station and I’m gonna give Serge a call.” He sits down in Arizona’s chair. He contacts Serge. 

“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Serge asks. 

“We’re home.” 

“You’re home?” 

“Approaching Pluto, actually.” 

“What happened?” 

“The Zorkons have a weapon that makes it possible to blow us up in space.” 

“That’s impossible, there’s no oxygen in space.” 

“They shot an oxygen bubble that surrounded the ship before they fired on us, if it wasn’t for Arizona, we’d all be crispy right now.” 

“Wait, what? An oxygen bubble?” 

“Yeah, we got hit with a burst of gas, which the readings read as oxygen. I thought it strange that they’d wanna keep us alive, but once the laser ignited the oxygen, Arizona zapped us out of there. For being blind, she’s surprisingly good with her other senses.” 

“She’s psychic, remember? So where is she? I don’t see her on the bridge.” 

“Yeah, she used so much energy to transport us here, that it knocked her out.” 

“Will she be ok?” 

“Nyvar’s prognosis is that she’ll be ok, but she’ll know more later.” 

“Are you guys coming home, then?” 

“Yeah, I think we’ve had enough space adventure, at least for a little while.” 

“Hopefully the Zorkons think you’re dead.” 

“I agree, though I doubt they’ll come after us, they barely had any ship left by the end, and with the destruction of three of their planets, and severe damage to two more, they’ll have a lot of rebuilding to do, if there’s even enough of them left.” 

“Well, I look forward to hearing all of your reports.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“See you tomorrow.” Serge ends the transmission. 

“Oigres, you know how to drive this thing?” 

“Yeah, why?” Oigres asks. 

“Good, you have the bridge. Let’s go, Gorgax.” 

“Ugh, go, I’ll hold down the fort.” Ballester and Gorgax go to their room and start f*****g. 

“You know, I probably, would have survived, if we, exploded. But I, wouldn’t be able to, keep going without you.” Ballester says to Gorgax in between kisses. 

“Do you mean that?” Gorgax asks. 

“Of course, we’ve been together over a decade, I’ve gotten used to having you around.” 

“Do you actually love me, or do you just feel obligated because we’ve been together so long?” 

“Good question. But I think my statement speaks for itself.” 

“Or maybe you just don’t want to be alone.” 

“Trust me, it has nothing to do with that. I’ve chosen to be alone before, if I didn’t want you around, I would have told you to hit the bricks a long time ago.” 

“Alright, you ready?” She undresses and climbs into the tub of water, turning it rainbow, like a giant oil spill in the light. Ballester climbs in and joins her, the toxins hitting him immediately. 

“Babe, when was the last time you bathed?” 

“I don’t know, why?” 

“Because it’s really f*****g intense this time.” 

“Then this is gonna be fun!” She swims closer to him and they start making out. Back on the bridge, Oigres is hanging out with 101, Chimmy, and Manboutu. 

“You guys ready to go home?” Oigres asks. 

“Yeah, this space s**t was nice, but I’m looking forward to stepping back on Earth.” Chimmy says. 

“I cannot wait to set foot on your planet. ONE would like me to collect data if that is permissible?” 101 says. 

“Yeah, sure, your planet helped us out, why not?” Oigres responds. 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem, 101. Manboutu? Hey Manboutu?” Manboutu is just staring off in the distance. “MANBOUTU!” 

“Huh?” Manboutu asks. 

“I asked if you’re ready to go back home.” 

“Yeah, but I was just thinking about the Mirror Planet.” Manboutu says. “Our planet was so beautiful before it got destroyed, I wish I could live there.” 

“On the Mirror Planet?” 

“Yeah. Growing up on a ship, I heard stories of what our planet supposedly used to look like. The pictures we have on file were taken shortly after the pollution began, so we never knew it’s true beauty. But seeing it with my own eyes on the Mirror Planet...I want to bring my species there to populate it. Only problem is, it’s already populated by me and the rest of my species.” 

“Sounds like you need to talk to Serge about that.” 

“I don’t think he’d let us.” He says, sadly. 

“You never know until you ask.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“I swear, Jupiter and Saturn are the prettiest of all the gas giants in our system.” 

“I wonder if they can talk to us like the ones in our system can?” 

“Maybe we’ll find out one day.” 

“You’re not going to try?” 

“Nah, we gotta get home, but I’ll bring it up to Serge.” 

“I wish I wasn’t born a hot dog.” Chimmy says. Everyone looks at him. “What?” 

“Nothing.” Oigres says as he shakes his head and laughs. “Oh s**t, we’re getting close to the Asteroid Belt. I can’t drive us through that, I’m not skilled enough.” He presses the intercom. “Mom to the bridge, we’re approaching the Asteroid Belt, and you’re the only one skilled enough on board to get us through it.” Meanwhile, back in the Sallone quarters, Ballester is tripping balls while smoking a blunt on his bed, naked next to Gorgax, also naked, but sleeping. 

“Babe.” Ballester says as he shakes her awake. 

“Huh?” Gorgax asks, groggily. 

“Mom, I need you out here, I can’t get us through this Belt!” Oigres says over the intercom. 

“F**k...” She presses the intercom. “I’m on my way, sweetie.” She turns to Ballester. “I gotta drive the ship, you good?” Gorgax asks. 

“Oh, I’m-I’m still riding the wave, babe.” 

“Wow, I didn’t realize it was THAT potent.” 

“Oh yeah, even on drugs I’ve never felt this good.” 

“Then why are you smoking a blunt?” 

“Because I love being high, and it’s a different high.” Gorgax gets dressed. 

“See you when we land?” 

“Yeah, I’m- I’m not going anywhere right now.” 

“Ok.” She kisses him, leaves the room and heads to the bridge. “You really couldn’t do this on your own?” She asks Oigres. 

“Mom, I failed the flight simulator every time, only you and dad got high enough scores to fly this thing, and I’d rather you fly it, cause knowing dad, he’s high as a kite.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a point.” She takes her position and starts navigating the ship through the asteroids. 

“Thanks mom.” 

“No problem, it’s my job anyway, isn’t it?” 

“So, do you and dad have any plans when we get home?” 

“Yeah, we’re going to take a long, extended break.” 

“I’m actually looking forward to going back to the lab. There’s some unfinished experiments I left behind.” 

“You sure you don’t wanna take a break?” 

“I might take a day or two, but that’s it. Also, I’m sure Serge is looking forward to studying my samples.” 

“Well, you’re an adult, you can do what you want, but as your mother, I advise you to take at least a week off when we get home.” 

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine mom.” 

“Alright, if you say so.” They clear the Asteroid Belt and head towards Mars. “We’re almost home.” 

“Do you miss Galaxia?” 

“I’ve never been, how can I miss a place I’ve never been?” 

“Well, Manboutu wants to go back to Mirror Planet because apparently that’s what Galaxia used to look like.” Gorgax looks at Manboutu, who’s still staring out into the distance. 

“It would be nice, but it’s not real. Besides, I technically already live there.” 

“Ok, just wondering.” 

“I wouldn’t mind visiting again though, it really was beautiful. I can see why he’d wanna go back.” 

“Nobody could see me though.” 

“Because you’re a hybrid species, the Planet didn’t know how to present you to the inhabitants, so you were just invisible the whole time. That’s also why you were able to see both planets simultaneously.” 

“That makes sense.” 

“Approaching Earth, go get your father.” 

“Sure thing, mom.” Oigres goes to his parents’ quarters and finds his dad asleep on the bed. “Dad. DAD!” He shakes him awake. 

“Wha? What?” Ballester says, groggily. 

“We’re landing, we’re home!” 

“Oh, sweet.” He yawns, gets up, lights up, and goes on the bridge, where he sees the clouds, and the upcoming ground. They land safely by the lab, and Oigres contacts Serge to let him know they’ve landed. The doors open, and they’re greeted by Serge, Hallester, and Plops, who has grown immensely since they left. One by one, everyone leaves the ship. When Ballester gets off the ship, Serge takes a knife out of his pocket and slices Ballester’s junk right off. Ballester screams in pain, holding his crotch. “The f**k was that for?” Serge just laughs. 

“Welcome home, a*****e!” Serge says. He walks back to the lab, laughing hysterically. 

“F*****g dick.”