Chapter LVIII: Robot Scott

A Chapter by Scorpious Alpha

“Ok, 101, you ready?” Ballester asks 101.

“Affirmative.” 101 says. Ballester sticks his c**k into the soft part on 101’s body while Gorgax is riding the phallus attachment.

“Why didn’t we think of this before- cold! Augh!” Ballester says as another phallus attachment is shoved up his a*s.

“Because it records everything we do, but I don’t care anymore!” Gorgax yells.

“Would you like to view or download your pornographic film?” 101 asks.

“Save.” Gorgax says. “You have work to do.” She tells Ballester.

“Sure you don’t wanna come with us?”

“I hurt in places.”

“I thought you were tougher than that.”

“Oh, trust me, if I’m tapped out, it hurts.”

“Fine. This is gonna be tough though, I’m not allowed to destroy it, just disable it. But I wanna destroy it.”

“That is against orders, sir.” 101 says.

“I know, but I still want to.”

“Illogical.”

“People are illogical.”

“Illogical.”

“Let’s go find that robot Scott, your tech should be able to pick up his tech, right?”

“Affirmative.”

“Lead the way.” Ballester follows 101, and runs into Sallester in the hallway. “Gonna fight a Robot Scott, wanna come?”

“Hell yeah!” Sallester says.

“Sallester Sallone added to today’s payroll.” 101 says.

“So what’s up with this one?” Sallester asks.

“It’s malfunctioning, so Serge wants us to disable, not destroy it, and bring it back to the lab undamaged.”

“He’s just gonna have us kill it in the future anyway.”

“Look, I don’t question why he does things, neither should you.” Ballester says.

“It’s just so confusing.”

“Trust in Scorpious, he knows what he’s doing.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

“What does Scorpious have to do with Serge?”

“You ever notice Serge’s eye?”

“I try not to look.”

“He has the sight of Scorpious.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means he knows exactly what’s going on with us all the time.”

“Really? So it’s his fault I’m calling him a moldy penis gobbling smegma licker?”

“Why he ever would, yes.”

“So what’s the point of being alive?”

“For his entertainment purposes, and whoever is reading my words right now.” Ballester looks at You. “Anyway, where the f**k is this...s**t.”

“What?”

“Do you see 101?”

“Damnit, where’d it go?”

“101101101101101101101!” 101 returns. “Where were you?”

“Locating target: Robot Scott. Target found, was pursuing.” 101 says.

“Lead the way!” They chase 101 until they come across a robot that looks like Scott. Sallester pulls his rifle. “Hold on, we’re just supposed to disable it, not destroy it. Run simulation: Rifle Fire 5 bullets.” 101 scans the computer Scott and uploads the information. A simulation plays where there are gaping holes where the bullets passed. “Too heavy. Play simulation: EMP burst.” A simulation plays, where the shock would overload the robot, causing it to disassemble. “S**t. Any other ideas?”

“Simulation: Pebble?” A simulation of a pebble hitting the robot causes it to explode on contact. “Well, I’m at a loss.”

“Does it have an off switch?”

“Affirmative. Located six inches deep on the posterior of the robot.” 101 says.

“D****t.”

“What?” Sallester says.

“Rock, paper, scissors?”

“Uh oh, what is it?”

“One of us has to f**k that Scott in the a*s to shut it off.”

“Oh, f**k.” They throw out their symbols, and on the third one, Ballester beats Sallester. I just decided that by coin toss. So, Sallester drops his pants and f***s the Scott robot until it shuts off. “Why did it have to feel real?” Sallester says, traumatized a little bit.

“That sucks, my dude.”

“The worst part is that’s the most action I’ve gotten in 12 years.”

“Ouch. 101, carry the Scott robot, won’t you?”

“Affirmative.” 101 carries the Scott bot while they head back.

“Well, that was easy.” Sallester says.

“Was it?”

“Relatively, it just cost me my dignity.”

“And that’s the price we pay.”

“Wow, this sucks.”

“Eh, you get used to it.”

“Really?”

“I’d like to think the perks outweigh the s**t.”

“I guess.”

“It’s all I have hope for.”

“That’s actually pretty sad.”

“And now you get to experience it for yourself.”

“Great.” Sallester says sarcastically. They return to the lab with the robot Scott.

“Thanks.” Serge says. He opens it up, fixes some things, wakes it up, and sends it on its way.

“So, what was the point of that?”

“Oh, you can fight it now, it just needed to be reprogrammed.” Ballester and Sallester turn around and try to catch up with the Robot Scott. They eventually find him in a field, jerking off. When he cums, it’s acid. It s***s real s**t that it was probably stocked with. This attracts other Scotts, who begin eating it. One of the Scotts puts his hand in the acid cum puddle, and it burns his arm right off. “Ok, so what do you wanna do, dad?”

“101, run simulation program.” Ballester says. 101 scans the Scotts and brings up the information. “Simulation: grenades.” A simulation shows the death of the Scotts without a scratch on the robot. “Simulation: gunfire.” A simulation shows the Scotts all dying from rebound shots off of the robot. “Simulation: EMP.” The simulation shows the robot spazzing out, but not getting destroyed, and the regular Scotts are unaffected. “Simulation: Missiles.” The simulation shows missiles blowing up the regular Scotts, leaving the Robot Scott intact. “Simulation: Fire.” All Scotts burn up, except Robot Scott, who just overheats. “Simulation: Corrodium.” The Scotts burn up except the Robot Scott. “Any ideas, there, son?”

“What if we heat them up with the flamethrower and finish him off with a couple of EMP’s?”

“Sounds good to me.” They both equip their flamethrowers and get on burning up the Scotts, and superheating the robot Scott, who keeps shitting to attract more Scotts, who keep coming. They start to run low on fuel, and both of them roll EMP grenades to the Robot Scott, who over short circuits and explodes.

“See, now what was the point of all that?”

“You gotta admit, it was kinda cool.”

“Yeah but- why?”

“I told you, don’t question Him, He could end us at any time.”

“He wouldn’t dare.”

“I think He would.”

“Alright, I won’t push it, but it still bothers me.” They make their way back to the lab.

“Done already?” Serge asks.

“Well, 101 makes our job easier by helping us decide which strategy is best for each mutated Scott.”

“So, it does your job for you?”

“What? No, we still get to do the killing!”

“But that’s the point, you’re supposed to figure it out yourself, as a team.”

“I thought 101 was a part of the team?”

“He is, he’s just more machine than compadre right now.”

“Would you like me to put in a request for a personality chip? You may customize, choose from the grand selection, or choose one at random.” 101 asks Serge.

“Know what? How about a soft, relaxing woman’s voice, and get a body to match. Any humanoid alien of your choosing, and you may be remodified to accommodate all changes.”

“Yes sir.”

“You’re letting the robot choose what it looks like?” Ballester asks Serge.

“Sure, why not? It may surprise us.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Alright, so you destroyed Robot Scott?”

“Yeah, had to run some simulations, considering it wasn’t the same decrepit robot I found in the woods, this one was trying to attract Scotts to keep us busy while it made more, but we were too good for it.”

“Smart of you to run simulations, saves you ammo.”

“See? I know what I’m doing.”

“Alright, fine. Good job, you’re going out back tomorrow instead of the front, see your next group of Scotts? There’s fifty of them, multiple of each kind, just waiting to... well, I’m not sure, what, but that’s what this experiment is for. Don’t bring anyone who can’t handle what’s out there, and by that, I mean mere mortals. Gorgax is good, but she might get killed in tomorrow’s mission. Of course, if there’s someone in your life you’d like to get rid of, you can’t prevent things from happening...”

“Ooh, nice one!” Ballester heads back to his room, and finds Gorgax, who he kisses immediately.

“You’re in a good mood.” Gorgax says.

“I found out a way we can ‘accidentally’ get rid of our Mollyester problem. Only thing is, I’m conflicted as to who to bring with me. According to Serge, those Scotts would tear you apart. I don’t wanna trick Sallester into helping his mom die, and Hallester is in love with her, so he won’t do it.”