Chapter LX: As The Lab Turns

Chapter LX: As The Lab Turns 

Last time, on All My Ballesters: 

“I’m sorry to tell you, but Arizona is in a coma.” Nyvar says. 

“How long?” Ballester asks. 

“I don’t-” Ballester slams his fist. 

“D****t! HOW LONG?” 

“It looks like it could be long term.” 

“She saves us, and this is the return home she gets? Do anything you can for her!” 

“Yes sir.” 

*flash*  

“This is my ex wife-" Ballester says. 

“We’re still married!” Mollyester says. 

“This is Mollyester.” 

“It’s just Molly.” 

“And my son, Sallester.” 

*flash* “You know, I always thought I was the oldest Sallone child, and then boom! You show up. It’s just not fair!” Oigres says. 

“I’m sorry, brother, I had no idea.” Sallester says. 

“I suppose it’s not all your fault, it’s dad’s.” 

*flash* 

“You let those wolves take her on purpose?” Manboutu asks. 

“Yeah, it’s out of my hands.” Ballester answers. 

*flash* 

“You wanted me to die.” Mollyester says, as she slaps Ballester. 

“Why are you acting like this?” Ballester asks. 

“Because I still have feelings for you!” 

And now for the continuation: 

It opens with them in Arizona’s room, visiting her. “Just hang in there, Arizona. You’re a hero in our eyes.” Ballester tells her. “How’s she doing?” 

“No change as of yet, dad. She seems to be dreaming, so that’s a good sign.” Nyvar says. 

“I feel so guilty.” He looks off into the distance. “If I was a better captain, then maybe she wouldn’t have needed to save us.” 

“There’s nothing you could have done, it was a split second decision. We’re all still alive because of her, but she chose to save the entire ship, when she could have easily just saved herself. The important thing is we’re home, and I can take care of her now.” 

“I know you will, you’re a great doctor. Me and your mother are both very proud of you.” 

“Thanks, dad. I’ll let you know if there’s any improvement in her condition.” 

“I know you’ll do your best honey, I love you.” He gives her a hug and heads back to Serge’s lab. “What’s up, boss?” 

“Molly is looking for you.” 

“You didn’t see me today.” He runs outside, where he runs right into Mollyester. 

“Why do you keep avoiding me??” Mollyester asks. 

“Because I don’t love you anymore! We’ve grown apart long before I ever left.” 

“But I was so in love with you! I named Sal with that spelling you just oh so had to have. And I even got my name mashed together so I could join in, and you f****ng left! I changed my life for you, and you just left!” 

*enters flashback* 

“...yet you continue to smoke pot everywhere, even in front of our son!” 

“Meh, he’s old enough.”  

“He’s six!” 

“Hey kiddo, wanna watch me play some video games?” 

“Oh! Yeah!” Young Sallester says. Ballester boots up the system, puts in a cartridge, and starts playing.  

“What quest was I on?” 

“You were looking for the magic vase in the Cave of Deceit.” 

“Oh yeah, which way is that again?” 

“That way, keep going, stop. In there.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Oh, great example you’re setting for our son! Just smoke pot and play video games all day! When are you going to get a job?” 

“I still have plenty of money saved up, don’t worry.” 

“Then at least clean the place up! I come home from work every day, and the place is always a mess, because all you do is smoke pot, order pizza, and play video games! What the f**k kind of man did I marry?” 

“A fun one. Ooh, come on! Come on! S**t, I got killed AGAIN!” 

“It’s like you’re not even paying attention to me!” 

“You know what? I have been paying attention, and I think I’m going for a walk, running low on Happy Sticks.” 

“You son of a b***h, it’s like you don’t f*****g care!” 

*exit flashback* 

“You didn’t come back home. Sal left the game running and refused to play it because he was waiting for you to come home and thought you’d be mad if he played it without you. He never played that game anymore. I was trying to help you get your s**t together, but you were obsessed with doing whatever the f**k you wanted! Do you know how hard that was for me to get Sal to unlearn that behavior?” 

“See, this is what I hate about you, you just nag, nag, nag. I’m a grown a*s man and I’m gonna do what I want to. I only married you because you nagged me into it. We had Sallester because you nagged me into thinking the idea of starting a family was a good one. All I wanted was a piece of a*s to come home to that cooked and cleaned after I just spent the day doing what I wanted, because I served this country, and deserve some goddamn respect!” 

“So why did you ever tell me you loved me?” 

“So I could f**k you!” Mollyester runs away crying. 

“So that’s it, huh? The truth finally comes out.” Sallester says. 

“Son, how long have you been standing there?” 

“Long enough. I’m a mistake to you? You didn’t want me?” 

“It’s not like that! Sure, I didn’t want kids, but once you were old enough to have a conversation with, I found a little buddy.” 

“You just left without saying goodbye. I was so upset, and in denial. I found a carton of Happy Sticks you had hidden away, and I gotta say, I know why you like them so much.” 

“When the world ended, I raided everywhere I could to get as many as I could, and when Serge sent his drones to collect supplies, he gave me the whole supply. I’ve got so many, I’ll never run out. Well, if I’m around forever, I’m sure I’ll eventually run out, but that’s decades from now. Want a pack?” 

“Sure, dad.” Ballester gives him a pack of Happy Sticks, while taking out his own pack. They both light one up. “Mmm, smooth, no harshness in my throat at all.” 

“And it gives me that buzz that I look for in every marijuana cigarette.” 

“So what are you going to do about mom?” 

“I don’t know, the wolf plan backfired, and I haven’t gotten the list of new Scotts I’m supposed to wipe out.” 

“Or...we could, you know... hook her back up with Uncle Hal. I've seen the lab employees, they’re not a good looking bunch, and I don’t think she’ll want to date an experiment, remember how she felt about that.” 

“Hah, you’d think so, right? But no, your mother made sure she’s completely undatable with the exception of someone with a steel or rubber dick.” 

“Please don’t tell me anymore, my imagination is very vivid, I’m already picturing grotesque things.” 

“You really gotta get over being so repressed.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Meaning, we live in a fucked up world and you’re going to see a lot of fucked up s**t, so get used to it.” 

“I’ll try.” 

“Alright, I’ll see you tommorrow, sport.” 

“I’m in my thirties, dad.” 

“Just making up for lost time.” They go their separate ways, and Ballester flops on the bed next to Gorgax. 

“What’s the matter?” Gorgax asks. 

“Mollyester still has feelings for me, but I never had any for her. I broke my son’s heart, and yet, I’m so much happier with you and the family we’ve built. Sal will always be my buddy, but I just absolutely hate Mollyester. I tried getting her accidentally killed, and it didn’t work.” 

“I told you, you have to let her feel like part of the family.” 

“But why do I have to?” 

“Because on my planet-” 

“Well guess what? We’re not on your planet, you’re on mine. Yours is a literal shithole, and Mollyester is s****y, and what do we do with s**t? We get rid of it. You got rid of your planet, I’m getting rid of my wife, that’s all there is to it.” 

“I’ve never seen you so heartless.” 

“You’ve been with me for eleven years, of course I’m heartless.” 

“I meant to people close to you. Whether you want to admit it or not, they’re both still your family. Her blood flows through your son’s veins as surely as yours does. You need to do the right thing and treat Molly as an equal.” 

“But I don’t want to.” 

“If you’re any man of integrity, you’ll do it.” 

“You know just how to cut deep.” 

“I’m just telling you how it is.” 

“Thank you for being so cool about this.” 

“It’s no problem at all, we don’t have this problem on our planet.” 

“Alright, I get it! Yours is superior to mine!” 

“Finally, he gets it!” She kisses him. 

“You know, I’m only doing it for Sallester. If it wasn’t for him, I would have fed her to the Grinder as soon as she got here.” Meanwhile, in the shadows, Scott laughs maniacally as Scotts are being cloned. 

“Oh yes, finally! FINALLY!” Scott says. He breaks free of the cloning machine and runs out of the lab, past Chimmy, who’s asleep, and into the woods. 

“Warning! Warning! Escape from section 37-B!” Brains’ alarm goes off. Serge goes to the lab. 

“Alarm, off. I was wondering when it would happen... Guess it’s time for the new list to come out!” Serge says, as he prints out a list of Scotts and calls Ballester to return to the lab. 

“These the ones I gotta get?” Ballester asks. 

“Yes, but be careful, the Scott that broke loose is a smart Scott, so watch out for him, he’s pretty powerful.” 

“Got it, boss.” 

Soon after, Ballester was killed when Mollyester showed up out of nowhere and sliced him in half with samurai swords.