Chapter LXI: Scott vs. Scott

Chapter LXI: Scott vs Scott 

Yep, you read that right. What is going to happen now? *gasps* Twists and turns everywhere! Let’s read on... 

“So, how the hell did Scott escape? I thought you had him locked away on S**t Planet making more Scotts.” 

“No, that’s what Shitbag is for. This Scott that escaped is the original Scott, how else did you think you were fighting mutated Scotts? Obviously I was cloning more!” 

“So, how did you know it was him who escaped?” 

“This poorly written note: 

‘IM SKOT. I EXCAPD AND WIL BILD LIF 4 AL SKOTSSSS LUV SKOT IM SKOT.’” 

“Wait, so he wants to rule the other Scotts?” 

“And possibly use them against us, that’s why I need the rest of them eliminated.” 

“Gotcha.” 

“Bring back his body though, don’t damage the brain. I wanna study it.” 

“Gotcha. I’ll take this one solo.” 

“Need some time off? Fam and friends?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re lucky you’re immortal, or I’d be worried about you.” 

“Really?” 

“No. Now, obviously this Scott is smarter than any other Scott before and I wanna figure out why.” 

“Alright, good luck on your nerd research.” He lights up, and leaves the lab, where he runs into Sallester. “S**t.” He mutters. 

“Hey dad, going to go look for that escaped Scott?” 

“Yeah, why?”  

“I know the path he’s taking, only thing is I don’t know where it ends. I think he caught me following him and escaped into the sewers.” 

“Good job, son. F**k, that’s a three mile walk. Not to mention how long it’ll take to navigate the sewers.” 

“If we enter the sewers over here...” He points. “We can cover the three miles AND explore the sewers.” 

“Ugh, you’ve got a point; all right.” They go down the sewers and start exploring. “You know the only reason I’m letting you come along is because you did some of my work for me, right?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, I was hoping to do this one solo.” 

“Oh, if you want me to leave-” 

“No, don’t, let’s just go. You might come in handy anyway, besides, it’s not like you can get hurt down here.” They start walking, and come across a naked Scott eating s**t off the ground. Ballester shoots it in the throat, grabs and hauls the body back to the lab. “Can I get paid now?” 

“Oh you’ll get paid by killing Scott, but this is just a normal Scott. Sorry, this isn’t the one I’m looking for.” Serge says. 

“We’re going to need help finding the right Scott then.” Ballester says. 

“Here. I use this during my research and it’s my only one, so don’t break or lose it. It reads the brainwaves of the nearest life forms. The smarter the target the more waves appear.” He points it to himself, and all the bars fill up, and as he points it to the other two, they’re significantly lower. “According to this, Sallester is smarter than you.” 

“What?” 

“By ten IQ points. See?” He shows them. “Now Scotts are gonna be one wave long, the smarter one may be around three or four.”] 

“How many was ours?”  

“Eight and Nine. Mine was fifteen. Don’t worry Ballester, you’re definitely smarter than Scott.” 

“Good.” 

“How insecure ARE you?” 

“I’m not, I just didn’t know.” 

“Whatever man, have fun Scott hunting.” They leave the lab and head back into the sewers. They come across two Scotts fighting over a huge hunk of s**t, which eventually breaks, and they hump it before they eat it. 

“Should we kill them?” Sallester asks. 

“Sure, why not?” Ballester says. They both get head shots and continue on their way. They come across two s**t covered Scotts f*****g, and they’re disposed of easily. “Where the f**k is this guy?” 

“I’m just picking up regular Scotts.” Sallester says. Sure enough, they come across an orgy of Scotts. They throw a few grenades, blow them apart. A few more Scotts were bathing in the sewer, using rats as toilet paper and a loofah. They continue on their way, taking out every Scott they come across. “Woah, hold on, there’s two fours ahead.” 

“Two? How?”  

“I don’t know, maybe Serge knows.” They overhear an argument around the corner. 

“...Duh, I’m Scott!” Scott says. 

“Duh...no, I’m Scott!” Another Scott says. They’re both the fours registering on the device. Ballester and Sallester decide to watch before striking, looking for the perfect moment. 

“Nuh uh!” 

“Yea huh!” 

“Nuh uh!” 

“Yeah huh!” They both get shot in the leg but neither realizes it. They start physically fighting. 

“Which one are we suppposed to grab?” Sallester asks. 

“Let’s see if we can bring both. They both register, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“We’re getting paid to bring the one that brings up a four, they both did, so we get paid double!” Since they’re both equal, they end up knocking each other out of the fight. “Stupid pieces of s**t.” They each grab a Scott and haul them back to the lab. “So, yeah, they both registered, we don’t know which one is the escapee since they’re both naked.” 

“It’s this one. I tattooed him so I could always pick him out of a crowd. See the number one on his neck?” 

“So what about this one?” 

“Honestly, I’ll have to run some brain scans, perform tests and whatnot, Scotts aren’t supposed to live long enough to evolve, they’re born fodder. Although, if my tests are right, it seems that for every Scott I cloned, it gave him an extra brain cell. It’s my fault he’s smarter than the rest. This one however, I haven’t the slightest clue.” 

“Alright, we’ll check in on you later.” Ballester says. 

“See ya. Serge says. 

“What do you think, dad? Maybe it was an algorithm in the machine that got fucked up, or maybe it’s one of those one in a billion chance kinda thing, or maybe-” Sallester begins. 

“Can it, kid.” Ballester interrupts. “I just wanna go home, rail my wife, and go to sleep.” He goes into his apartment and slams the door in Sallester’s face. Sallester makes his way towards the lab, and talks to Serge. 

“My dad isn’t the same anymore.” 

“He just wants to be alone. He went from being in space to back here to work, and then extra family shows up, don’t worry about your dad, he just needs some ‘him’ time.” 

“So, have you found anything?” 

“Not yet, I’m still working on Original Scott here, I need to cause some brain damage so he doesn’t get the bright idea to sneak out again.” There’s a crackle, a pop, and Scott’s brain is on fire. Serge snips the burnt part along with a sizeable chunk and takes it off of the brain. “There, that ought to do it.” 

“Why did you light his brain on fire?” 

“Comedic effect.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“Yeah, is it every day you get to see someone’s brain on fire? Come on, that’s pretty funny.” 

“I don’t- uh, what are you doing?” 

“Cooking it.” 

“What?” 

“I’m sure little Scotty Wotty is hungry for some of his own brains, right?” 

“That’s sick!” 

“Actually, I find it kinda funny. Just look at him chomping away over there. No clue what he’s eating.” 

“What is wrong with you?” 

“I’m insane.” 

“Clearly.” 

“Are you all done?” Serge helps Scott up, and brings him to the cloning machine and locks him in. “Now don’t you go escaping again, you know I’ll always find you.” Serge s***s in a small opening at the top of the machine, and Scott eats it off the floor. “That takes care of that one, and- wait, where’s the other Scott?” 

“Oh s**t, I didn’t even see or hear him get up!” 

“Me neither. Oh well, it’s just another Scott for you guys to hunt.” 

“It’s more fun with someone else.” 

“Do you want me to assign you to him? Would that help?” 

“No, he’ll resent me then.” 

“Then I don’t know what to tell you, kid.” 

“Apparently he lost a kid.” 

“Missing, presumed dead. Name was Ruzal, he was second born. He was actually your dad’s favorite, I think. Ruzal wanted to be just like Ballester, but he was lost during the battle of the Zorkons... damn, feels like a lifetime ago.” 

“Any chance he’s still alive?” 

“No body was ever found, so maybe. Come to think about it, you and Ruzal are a lot alike. You both want your father’s approval, and you’ll do anything to achieve it. For Ruzal, it was about showing off his marksman skills and body count. For you, you want to reconnect in the way you remember when you were a child, when the last time you saw him was. Only problem is that in those twenty five years, you both have changed. Just be glad he shows you some attention, some people don’t even get that from their parents. Give him a few days to cool off.” 

“Alright, thanks Serge.” 

“No problem, Sal.” Sallester goes to his room. Meanwhile, Ballester and Gorgax are talking. 

“I don’t hate the kid, but I feel like he’s smothering me.” Ballester says. 

“Well, it’s hard for both of you, it’s been so long since you’ve seen each other. And because you welcomed him as part of our family unit, he feels as if he can continue where you left off.” 

“’continue where we left off’! That’s a great idea!” 

“What? What do you mean?” 

“I’m gonna request a few days off to spend some time playing video games with Sallester, maybe then he won’t think I hate him.” 

“Are you going to invite the other children?” 

“Not for the first twenty four hours, I want him to experience it just being me and him like it used to be, and then his other siblings can join.” 

“Can I join too?” 

“If you want.” 

“Can Molly come?” 

“Does she have to?” 

“Not necessarily.” 

“Then no.” Mollyester sneaks in his room in the middle of the night and decapitates him. 

Reviews

[ETERNITY]

‘IM SKOT. I EXCAPD AND WIL BILD LIF 4 AL SKOTSSSS LUV SKOT IM SKOT.’”
THAT is so great! Yep! Sounds like Scott!
"I'm Scott. I escaped and will build life 4 All Scottssss Love Scott I'm Scott."

(Don't Go.)

[Ms claws]

Yep! I've read this one several times! That final line got me!

It's difficult to review these writings of yours ...

It's just WOW!