Chapter LXV: Ballester vs. Scott

Chapter LXV: Ballester vs Scott 

“Alright, who’s ready to go into the sewers?” Ballester looks at both Gorgax and Mollyester to blank stares. “Well, ready or not, that’s our starting point for finding our Scott.” 

“Can I get a suit too?” Mollyester asks. 

“Go for it.” 

“Ok, I’m ready.” 

“Congratulations, now let’s get a move on.” They walk for a bit before getting to a manhole. Ballester picks it up and chucks it across the street. They head down the sewer and scare off a bunch of rats. 

“Yeah, the suit definitely was a good idea.” 

“All right, we need to figure out a way around. Last time, we went that way, so I say we go this way this time.” 

“But that will lead us to the lab!” Gorgax says. 

“Yeah, and who knows? Maybe there’s a Scott nest there.” 

“But why?” 

“Because, we’d be under the lab’s septic system, which they’d be attracted to.” They head in that direction, and see somebody up ahead. They shine their flashlights and see it’s Sallester. “What are you doing down here?” 

“Looking for you guys, Serge said you were hunting down that smart Scott, and I want in!” 

“All right, fine.” They keep walking. 

“Why are we going this way?” Sallester asks. 

“Shh, listen.” They hear pipe banging and voices. The four of them creep a little closer, and they see a crowd of Scotts gathered together and one Scott speaking to them. 

“And we don’t have to eat s**t, there’s other things that get tossed down here. I mean, I know it’s tempting to not eat...mmmm.” The Scott that was giving the speech jumps into the water and gathers all the oncoming s**t he can and eats it greedily. 

“Watcha doin’ there, Scott? Eating s**t?” Ballester asks. 

“MMMFGH?” Scott looks over with a mouth full of s**t dripping down his chin. He swallows and looks up at Ballester and his family. Scott climbs out of the water and walks up to Ballester’s face. “So, Serge sent you to get me, did he?” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Ballester says. “So, question. Who the f**k are you?” 
“I’m the original Scott.” 

“That’s impossible, the real Scott is in the cloning machine.” 

“That’s what I wanted people to think.” 

“How did you get so smart?” 

“For every Scott made, I gain a brain cell. Yes, there’s more Scotts out there than you’d ever know.” 

“Well, we gotta take you back to Serge now.” 

“Not gonna happen.” 

“Hand to hand wouldn’t be a good idea, I can bench press a million pounds, and we outnumber you.” 

“Nuh uh! YO! DUH! SCOTTS FIGHT NOW!” A horde of Scotts suddenly bursts through the tunnels. “Good luck finding me dill hole!” There are so many Scotts, it’s disorienting, and the four of them just shoot every Scott they see. Eventually, all of the Scotts are dead. 

“Do you think we killed him on accident?” 

“Only one way to find out.” Gorgax takes out her communicator. “You were right, send down the drones to our coordinates.” Soon, drones attached to boxes fly by and gather all of the Scotts. “The question is: do we continue what could possibly be a wild goose chase, or we go back with the drones?” 

“I vote we go back with the drones.” Sallester says. 

“Why?” 

“You’re right, it could be a wild goose chase.” 

“Or, he could be heading deeper into the sewers and somehow got away from the scuffle.” 

“What do you want to do, dad? It’s your mission.” 

“I think you may be right, let’s confirm that one of these Scotts isn’t our Scott, and then we can continue our search, I’m sure we’ll find him again, after all, he’s a Scott.” They each hitch a ride with a drone, and end up back at the lab. 

“I told you not to kill him!” Serge says. 

“I don’t think we did, but we’re checking to make sure anyway.” 

“You do realize this is going to take a few hours, right? What are you going to do during that time?” 

“I don’t know, maybe there’s something we can do to help?” 

“Sorry, but getting this many Scotts MRI’d is gonna take awhile.” 

“Aw s**t, what do we do now?” 

“Well, we could map out the sewers!” Everyone looks excited. 

Chapter DCLXVI: 666SATAN666 

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“So yeah, none of these Scotts are the one we’re looking for.” Serge says. 

“Ah s**t, guess it’s back to the sewers for us.” Ballester says. They all go back into the sewers and start searching, following their map. Scott wasn’t where he was last time, so they start doing a little more exploring. They come across various Scotts, eating s**t, having sex with each other, having sex with the s**t. The meter remains at one, however. 

“Where do you think he went to?” Sallester asks. 

“I don’t know, maybe there’s another Scott nest around here somewhere.” 

“Let’s hope so.” 

“I don’t see why not, this is the perfect place for them.” 

“Yeah, I suppose.” The meter beeps from one to six in a matter of seconds. Scott leaps out of the water and attacks Ballester. 

“Hahahaha die, die, die!” Scott says as he’s choking Ballester. The other three draw their weapons. “Ok, stop! I surrender.” He stops choking Ballester and raises his hands. As they approach him, he suddenly has great enough karate skills to knock the weapons out of their hands. He runs away again. They begin chasing him, but he already had too great of a head start, and soon they lose sight of him. 

“F*****g a*****e!” Ballester yells, as he shoots the ceiling. 

“But at least we know what direction he went.” Sallester says. 

“Yeah, I guess, unless it splits.” 

“Then we’ll split, we’ll cover more ground that way.” 

“Good idea, I’m taking this b*****d down if it’s the last thing I do.” 

“What did he do?” 

“It’s not what he’s done, it’s what he’s capable of. Did you see the way he commanded those Scotts? They were there in an instant. That’s crazy.” 

“Yeah, I guess you got a point there.” 

“Leave it to f*****g Serge.” 

“Why?” 

“Him and his stupid experiments.” 

“Oh, gotcha.” They come across Scotts having sex with rats, shoving rats in their asses, eating the rats, and wearing rats on their dicks. All ones. They just walk past the Scotts, looking for that one Scott, but are having trouble, as there are nothing but regular Scotts everywhere. The more they progress, the denser the amount of Scotts gets, to the point where they’re just pushing the Scotts into the s**t water, and who don’t care cause it’s s**t water. Suddenly, the ground dips down, and notice giant pipes with water gushing out of them. They turn back, and take the path next to the one they were just on, to a crowd of Scotts so dense, and yet they fill a huge cavern underneath. Ballester and his family go down to the crowd of Scotts, and notice crudely built shelters. They continue on their way, monitoring the intelligence level, which stays at one until a random jump to 6 appears in front of one of the crude shelters. They burst in, and see Scott fucking another Scott. 

“Get out of here, go!” Scott whines. They wait outside until he’s finished, then barge in again, and grab him. 

“Where’s your friend? Why’d he bail?” Ballester asks Scott. 

“I’m Scott!” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, I know who you are. Just because you all look alike doesn’t mean...s**t!” Ballester looks at his intelligence meter, which is reading one. “S**t, motherfucking s**t cocksucker got away again!” Ballester yells as he leaves Scott’s house. 

“So what now, dad?” Sallester asks. 

“Well, looks like we’re going to have to explore this little land of the Scotts here.” 

“Ah, s**t.” 

“Yeah, I know, but it has to be done.” 

“I hate this mission!” 

“What are you pouting for? You’re in your thirties!” 

“Sorry, it’s just that we’ve come so far, and got so close.” 

“Yeah, it sucks, but we keep f*****g going, we don’t just stand there and whine like little b*****s. Well, your mother might. 

“Hey!” Mollyester yells. 

“You know I’m right, you needed a suit to come down here.” 

“Well she gets to wear a suit!” 

“Yeah, because the air, water and s**t are toxic to her people.” 

“Big f*****g deal, I don’t wanna get s**t and germs all over me!” 

“Look, can you guys stop fighting? Looks like we’ve got a whole town to explore down here...” Manboutu says. 

“A kind of ‘Scott City’ you could call it.” Ballester says. 

“Well, it’s not big enough to be a city, but I understand your sentiment.” 

“Smartass.” 

“Can we just let’s f*****g go already?” Sallester asks. 

“Fine, fine.” 

“I swear dad, you gotta lay off the drugs.” 

“Actually, I haven’t done drugs in quite a while, unless you count love drugs.” He winks at Gorgax, while Mollyester rolls her eyes. The group enter the City of the Scotts.