Chapter LXX: The Ballester & The Beautiful

A Chapter by Scorpious Alpha

Chapter LXX: The Ballester and the Beautiful

Last time, on Guiding Ballester Light...

“I’m sorry to tell you, but Arizona is still in a coma.” Nyvar says.

“I can’t stand this anymore!” Chimmy shouts.

“Why?”

“Because I love her!”

*flash*

“I think Molly is trying to kill me.” Gorgax says, in the hospital. Flash back to Mollyester pushing her down.

“Look, I really need you two to get along, for the sake of the children.” Ballester tells her.

“I’m trying, she’s not!”

“Don’t worry honey, I’ll talk to her.”

*flash*

“My long lost clone... What have you been up to?” Ballester asks.

“Trying to ruin YOUR reputation.” B.B answers.

“Why would you do such a thing? We’re like brothers.”

“Because you’re living the life with your two wives while I’m giving blowjobs for meth, doing second rate porn! It’s not fair! Why do you have the better life?”

“I guess I just got lucky.”

“Yeah, when will luck favor me? Huh? Who cares about me? Nobody!”

“Don’t say that, we’re brothers.” He puts his hand on his shoulder.

*theme song*

“Please tell me she’s going to be alright, doctor.” Chimmy says.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how long she’ll be in this coma.” Nyvar says.

“Please, I really-” He sighs. “I can’t do this. You’re shipping me and Arizona, really?”

“Well, I needed some drama, what’s more dramatic than a loved one in a coma?” Serge says.

“It’s just- I don’t know, it feels forced, like, I get she sacrificed herself and everything, but why does it have to be me who falls in love with her? Why can’t she stay single?”

“Because SOMEBODY has to care that she’s in a coma.” Arizona gets up.

“No, it’s fine, Arizona is the lonely type anyway.” Arizona says.

“Look, just follow the script, ok?” Serge says. “Action!”

“Arizona, I’m love- I'm in you- I'm in love you.” He takes a deep breath. “Arizona, I’m in love with you, please break out of this coma.” Chimmy says.

“No.” Arizona says.

“Cut!” What are you doing?” Serge asks.

“Ad libbing.”

“People in comas don’t ad lib, they just lie there!”

“Look, I figured if Arizona says no, then he’ll be released from the burden of her forever and he can get on with his life...or something like that.”

“You know what? F**k it, we’re skipping this scene, let’s go on to the next-”

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*back to the show*

“What do you mean, Mollyester tried to kill you?” Ballester asks Gorgax, who’s in the hospital bed.

“She pushed me off the high ledge, it was intentional.” Gorgax says.

“This isn’t what I wanted for you! For us! I wanted the three of us to get along together!”

“Apparently, she doesn’t want any part of it. She wants you all to herself.”

“How would you know that?”

“Because she told me.”

“This breaks my heart, all I’ve ever wanted was for my wives to get along. I’m going to have to talk to Sallester before I make the decision to ask Serge to have her kicked out. He’s the only reason she’s still here, he’s my son, and I’m trying to do right by him.”

“I’m sorry, I tried to be patient, I really did, but attempted murder is where I draw the line.”

“I totally understand honey, and I’m sorry she’s part of our lives.”

“Well, it’s not like you knew you’d find me, or that she’d find you.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“I love you, Ballester. You’re a good man, and I see the effort you’re putting in to try to make everyone happy. It hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“I love you too, Gorgax. It’s like, you’re the perfect compliment to me.”

“Do what you have to.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it work.”

“I’m not sorry, it’s her that should be sorry. Sorry that she’ll never know true love, obsessed with the past.”

“Oh Gorgax, you speak so eloquently. ‘Eloquently’? Is that really a word? Huh. Really? Sounds made up. Anyway, we’ve been together longer than me and her were, the decision is an easy one.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, babe.” He leaves the hospital wing and heads back to Sallester’s apartment. He knocks, and Sallester answers.

“Sup, dad?” Sallester asks.

“I need to talk to you about your mother.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Is she ok?”

“She’s fine, it’s just that...She tried to murder Gorgax.” Sallester gasps. “I’m going to ask Serge to get Mollyester removed from the property for good.”

“Dad...you can’t be serious.”

“What else am I supposed to do, son? I almost lost the love of my life because of her jealousy!”

“You know...” Sallester looks away from Ballester into the distance. “I had really hoped you would all get along, I love mom, but I actually support your decision. Just because she was the only person there for me doesn’t mean she was a good person while she did it.”

“I’m sorry, kiddo.” He puts his hand on his shoulder, and Sallester turns back to look at him.

“I understand, dad. Do what you have to, I still love you.” He hugs him.

“See Chimmy, THAT’s how you do that.” Serge says. “Set up for the next scene! Now, let’s see how good Molly’s acting is-”

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*back to the show*

“Are we on?” Serge asks. “Ok, we’re on.”

“Look Molly, it’s time for you to go.” Ballester says.

“What do you mean go? Go where?”

“I’m having you evicted.” Mollyester gasps loudly.

“No...”She begins to cry. “Sal will never forgive you!”

“I already talked to him, and he agrees, it’s what’s best for everyone.”

“What? No! He would never! I’m all he had for two and a half decades while you run around with some alien hoochie!”

“She’s not a hoochie, she’s actually a decorated captain, and she means a lot to me. Even Sallester has warmed up to her, the only person who hasn’t is you.”

“All I have to do is get along with her?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s just so hard, I don’t like sharing you.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m gonna ask Serge after this conversation.”

“No, please!”

“I’m sorry, it’s too late. You should have thought about that before you pushed her and left her for dead.”

“I’m sorry about that!”

“Crocodile tears. We’ve been through this how many times already.”

“F**k you!” She takes her gun and empties her clip into him. She runs out of her apartment, and goes to the cafeteria and gets herself something to eat. Meanwhile, Ballester gets up, and all of the bullets fall out of him. He leaves the apartment, and heads to the lobby.

“Are we getting to my story?” B.B asks.

“No, this counts as a cameo, you’re still on punishment.” Serge tells him.

“What? But I was in the recap, I thought for sure my story would be covered!”

“Sorry, we ran out of time, this episode’s over.”

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