Chapter XC: Super Barrestel Team vs. Ballester Sallone & co. FRIDAY NIGHT ULTIMATE FIGHT HOT DOG #1!

Chapter XC: Super Barrestel Team vs Ballester Sallone and co. FRIDAY NIGHT ULTIMATE FIGHT HOT DOG NUMBER ONE! 

Announcer: 

Serge opened rifts to other dimensions, which includes the alternate reality that Barrestel lives in. After a brief meeting, anime/manga Serge calls out Serge to have a battle tournament. Both teams versus each other’s equals! *Theme song* “Why do we have to fight each other?” Serge asks the other Serge, who wears an eyepatch where the empty eyehole is. 

“Because you are a fool!"  

“Why? What did I do?” 

“You let your subordinates talk back, you haven’t executed nearly enough people, and you call yourself a ruler?” 

“Look, just because you’ve put your Ballester through the Grinder more times than my Ballester doesn’t mean-” 

“Quiet! I do not want to hear your blathering on any longer, now is the time to fight!” 

“Why must we fight? Are we not equal?” 

“No! Being an Asian drawn counterpart, I am infinitely better than you!” He turns into a robot version of himself. He shoots lasers out of his eyepatch, and he can fly, that’s pretty cool. How is Serge gonna match up? Oh yeah, that’s right! Serge activates his jet leg and cannon arm. 

“Woah, woah, hold on there, we can’t have you two fight yet, me and Barrestel have to fight before you guys fight, and we haven’t even seen the Manboutus, Chimmys, Hallesters, Arizonas and... really? You invited HIM to battle?” Ballester asks me. I nod. “The two Shitbags are up first. Shitbag vs. Rubber Feces Man.’ The two face each other. 

“Hi, friend! I’m a s**t in a condom too!” Shitbag says. 

“Hi, Shitbag, I’m Rubber Feces Man, would you like to be allies and have sex with Scotts?” 

“Oh, that would be wonderful!” The two hold hands and skip out of the arena. 

“Guess no matter the universe, Shitbag is just as cheery as ever, huh, Master Leader Serge?” Serge says as a commentator. The Master Leader looks at you, but also talking to Serge as a commentator too. 

“Yes, very interesting to see that Shitbag rape Scott in both dimension.” 

“Haha, f**k Scott.” 

“Yes, Shitbag do that real good, I think air safe to approach as we encounter second battereuh. Chimmy versus Hot Dog Canine Human!” 

“Who do you have your money on?” 

“My Chimmy a far uh superior to yours!” 

“Well, we’ll just find that out, now shall we?” Both Chimmys get into a sumo wrestling ring and start pushing against each other, struggling. “This is pretty boring to watch, actually. They’re pretty evenly matched.” 

“Hm, yes, this is perplexing. Oh Gozirra!” A giant snake appears out of nowhere and eats Chimmy. “Ah, look a like we win this round.” Master Leader Serge smiles cruelly. 

“Hey! That’s cheating!” 

“Prove it.” 

“It was just recorded on camera!” 

“Anyhoo, next battre uh. Manabouturu versus Alien Frog Man!” Manboutu and Alien Frog Man enter the arena, naked. They both fire their poison on each other and end up tripping out. 

“Hey man, what are we supposed to be doing right now?” Manboutu asks groovily. 

“I do not know, Manbouturu, but I am feeling pretty psychedelic.” Colors vividly change around and pulls them into and out of different dimensions since that’s still going on in the background. Every place is groovier and totally psychedelic, man. It’s cool, the frogs themselves are changing colors and intertwining to become a giant mutated version of both of them, which croaks, and hops away. 

“Wow, what an unexpected turn of events. Both have tripped each other so hard, they became one and hopped away, you just can’t make that s**t up, we just saw it with our own eye.” Serge laughs. 

“Yes, sad to see yet another tie, but we are still up by one.” Evil Leader Serge says. 

“No, that doesn’t count, you cheated!” 

“The uh, scoreboard says otherwise.” Evil Leader Serge smiles and nods his head forward while talking. 

“That’s bullshit! Come on Arizona, win one for daddy!” 

“Arizona versus Blind Alien Woman, an interesting battle this will be.” 

“Arizona has something yours doesn’t.” 

“Oh yeah, and what is that?” 

“The power of sight.” 

“OHH! How can this be?” 

“The Son of Scorpious.” 

“Alas, we were not breast by his presence, he has chosen your universe. This is unfair, it is cheating!” 

“Then I guess this makes us even.” Both Arizonas are chucking teleportation portals at each other, but they end up bouncing backward and back through their own portal every time. “I do not understand!” 

“I think I do. Time out.” Both Arizonas stop and look at the Serges. “Ok, so check this out, the reason why your portals aren’t working is because you’re both of the same frequency, like two magnets of the same polarity trying to stick together. You’re going to have to fight each other with your bare hands.” Both Arizonas look shocked at the idea. Next thing you know, they’re scantily clad and mud wrestling. Because the Asian version was drawn voluptuous, she’s nicer to look at, but then again, Arizona was topless in a thong, so whatever your thing is, enjoy. 

“Hah, Blind Alien woman way sexier than American Flatso.” Master Leader Serge says. 

“At least mine can see.” 

“We’re still winning.” 

“Nah, we’re tied, Arizona just choked Blind Alien Woman out.” 

“Damn!” 

“Sexy a*s match, though.” 

“I agree. Up next: Harrestel versus Harrestel.” 

“No, it’s Hallester versus Harrestel.” 

“That what I say!” 

“Not what I heard!” 

“F**k you!” 

“Shut up, the match is starting, they’re both invincible, so I wonder what approach they’ll use?” 

“Yes, matches should be more interesting from here on out.” 

“Well, we’re the grand finale, so we better put on a good show!” 

“...yes...” Both Hallester and Harrestel look at each other, unsure of what to do. 

“Do you know any fighting styles?” Harrestel asks. 

“No, I’m more of a speedy knife guy, but that won’t hurt you.” 

“Hmm...” 

“Although, I did learn some fighting moves during my time in the service, do you know Krav Maga?” 

“I shall counter it with my ancient karate secret moves.” 

“Hahahahahaha! That’s fun-” Suddenly, Hallester can’t breathe. 

“What happened?” Serge asks. 

“Let us watch that uh, repray.” The slow motion replay captures Harrester’s hand moving so fast and striking Hallester in the neck, that nobody saw it happen. 

“Holy f**k.” Hallester backs away, but Harrestel continues after him. Finally regaining his breath, Hallester goes on the offensive and charges at Harrestel, but Harrestel being as fast as Hallester, stops him in his tracks with a gut punch. Hallester falls over and pukes. 

“You see, we are you, you cannot defeat us.” 

“Who better to be your greatest enemy?” 

“This is true, you are wiser than I previously thought.” 

“Keep in mind, I’m the original. YOU’RE a copy of ME.” 

“We are the superior versions, I ah, assure you.” 

“Ok, stop doing that, it makes you sound conceited.” 

“I am not conceited, I am ah, confident.” 

“See? There you go again, stop doing that?” 

“Doing, ah, what?” They get sprayed with blood as the Grinder was activated. Plops eats the incoming mush that used to be a person. Harrestel leaves the arena. “Hah, we win again! Loser!” He puts an ‘L’ with his fingers on his forehead. 

“Wait, where’s Hallester?” 

“Let us see that uh, repray.” Harrestel picks up Hallester and throws him in the Grinder, and since his skin is so durable, he’s in excruciating pain as he’s getting shredded. “Looks like we have, ah, a winner.” He smiles. 

“Hal- Hallester can’t come back, he’s- he’s dead. That wasn’t part of the agreement!” 

“Good, use that in our match. For now, it is these two.” 

“I’m going to avenge my brother’s death.” Ballester says. 

“You cannot defeat me, for I am you.” Barrestel says. 

“No, I’m going to play with you instead until you give up.” He walks over, and tears Barrestel’s head and spine up and out. He kicks the head around while Barrestel’s headless body aimlessly wanders around. 

“Oh, come on! It smells like Feces Rubber Man down here!” 

“Then say you give up and your head will be returned to your body.” 

“Never!”  

“Fine.” Ballester drops his pants, and sticks his dick inside Barrestel’s mouth, who immediately starts sucking. 

“Wha-? I wou- -e-er!” Barrestel says with his mouth full. 

“It appears to be Scorpious’ will.” 

“-Wha- -o!” Barrestel loves Ballester’s c**k so much, that he swallows the whole load. Then, Ballester plays hackey sack with Barrestel’s head. 

“Give up yet?” 

“Never! You can never break my spirit!” 

“Ok.” Ballester takes a s**t on the ground, then sticks Barrestel’s head face first into the pile. “Eat it.” 

“No!” Ballester finishes his dump on the head. He takes the body, and kicks it off a cliff. 

“I’m not waiting for him to surrender, I think I’ve got him beat, I’m gonna go wipe my a*s.” 

“Looks like now we’re tied...again.” 

“Yes, but now we fight!” 

“Well, who’s going to make the first shot?” 

“Allow me.” Master Leader Serge smirks an evil grin, and punches Serge in the face. 

“That all you got?” 

“Of course not.” He transforms into a robot, and Serge transforms too. They fire their weapons at each other, and fly around. Master Leader Serge shoots a beam out of his chest and Serge dodges it. Serge shoots Master Leader Serge, knocking him into the wall, and Serge puts his arm cannon to Asian Serge’s head. 

“Surrender or die.” 

“My life is yours to leave or take.” 

“Normally, I would let you live, but how many chances like this am I going to get?” 

“What?” 

“Yeah, I mean, you’re me. If I kill you, in a way, I’m killing myself, but I’ll continue to live. Extraordinary the unique position, almost existential in a way.” 

“Do what you must.” 

“Concede that we’re the better version.” 

“Fine, you are superior.” 

“Go back to your reality, and never come back.” 

“Yes sir.” He gathers his team and exits through their portal. Serge collapses the door, and the ground rumbles as more tears appear. Then, things return to normal. All the fighters, with the exception of Hallester gather. 

“Chimmy? How’d you make it out of the snake’s stomach?” 

“It’s a snake, I just cut myself out, yo.” Chimmy says. 

“Cool. Um, Ballester, do what you’ve gotta do with your brother’s s**t, we’ll have a funeral when you’re ready.”