Trust is Vulnerable

A Villanelle

Trust is Vulnerable

The heart simply longs to be vulnerable
Our affections in kind be returned
To feel most above all that we’re lovable

Knowing for our sentiments we’re culpable
In a harsh world our truths get burned
The heart simply longs to be vulnerable

One’s emotions upon sleeves is gullible
In doubt the Numinous is churned
To feel above all that we’re lovable

Closed off we eventually feel miserable
Too soon earnest sharing is spurned
The heart simply longs to be vulnerable

Seeking in who’s eyes we’re adorable
Trying to forget sad lessons learned
To feel most above all that we’re loveable

Finding with Whom we are comfortable
The Embrace by which we’re affirmed
The heart simply longs to be vulnerable
To feel most above all that we’re loveable

Reviews

[Arabella Song]

I loved the idea of the poem.

(I'm on my phone and I can't tell if my entire review actually saved, so I'm sorry if this looks weird or I say the same thing more than once xD)

It's really good, but some of the rhymes seem forced, like "vulnerable" and "culpable", but they might be slant rhymes (... I sometimes really have trouble telling if something's a slant rhyme or not XD)

Overall, though, it was really good

[abluehorseandflowers]

Certainly slant-like, but more an end rhyme (-able) I think. And I agree, it does feel contrived. I'm thinking the Villanelle is not the best form for what I'm trying to say. I'm chafing a bit with "lovable" and "adorable," though I love the sentiment. I'm going to see how a Petrarchan Sonnet works or maybe break it down into a trio of Triolet. What do you think?

[Arabella Song]

I think that sounds fine ^_^ a petrachan sonnet would probably work really well :)

[maria ( rose)]

Finding with Whom we are comfortable
The Embrace by which we’re affirmed
The heart simply longs to be vulnerable
To feel most above all that we’re loveable..Trust is Vulnerable.

absolutely fabulous!

[Sami Khalil]

Our trust is vulnerable and that is why we have to hold on to the rope of God. A wonderful poem...:).................

[abluehorseandflowers]

Thank you Sami. This was the first poem I felt very uncertain about. It expresses well my sentiment but feels clunky. I happy that you picked up on the Divine element snuggled in there. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:)...............