in past-tence

As I'm thinking, about my life/ i look back, and I'm quite surprised/ how i /  acted and how I've lied/
stuck in past-tense/ which shows my thrive/
Money absence/ i can't deny/ but got past it/ i had to try/ kept protracting/ was a ruff rude/ 
its goes on/ so far no red lights/ i have longed, and still need what's right/
it ain't money/ but a clear mind/ if you ask me I'm doing fine/ in my mind, I'm like, "what a lie" /

i deny, and I'm stuck in heights/
and i/ really really would like/
to take time/ mesmerize/
catch they're eyes/ no despise/
all realize/ right on time/for my life/
to unwind/ then feel fine.