An Open Grave

Are we willing to change our evil ways

My grave is somewhere dug
Yet, I know not where
But, when I cannot see beyond one foot
I know it's somewhere there

 

And I stumble
Not befallen or too far from grace
From thus a problem or perhaps mistake
As a result of choice I did not make

 

Now another one, I must surely face
Shall I crumble, further unto darken place
Or humble self and step right up
And change my unaligning ways

 

Then I shall take my life...
Beyond the wrought, of iron gates
And into piece of mind
Far away from grips of Solomon's fate

Reviews

[ANTO]

The poem raises the questions - how far from grace is too far and can we change enough to ensure a place in Heaven - should we change drastically or gamble that the 'thief that comes in the night' will not come before we have succeeded in changing our ways.
Thought-provoking writing M.G.

[Michael G. Smith]

You and think alike. You must worship the same god I do.

[ANTO]

LOL - probably.

[Sheila Kline]

We are given choices in life - to do good, or evil. The decisions we make in situations of life determine our ultimate fate, and that of others.
This is my first poem of yours to review so I am not aware whether or not you choose to write without punctuation (except after "then,". The words however have a good flow and give us something to ponder.

[Michael G. Smith]

Yes, critique. So should I remove the comma and maybe add ... so the reader knows it goes into the next line?

[Sheila Kline]

I would put the , after the phrase - after the word, "gates", but I use more punctuation. I would have punctuated the entire poem and certainly with a period after the last word of the poem to indicate the thoughts have finished. Some poets use no punctuation, and others do...it is a matter of preference. I would remove the comma after the word then as the rest of the poem is without any marks.

[Michael G. Smith]

Yeah, I try using as little punctuation as possible otherwise in my opinion it becomes a story, but I did make some changes with your inspiring comments. Thanks

[Sheila Kline]

Oh, I like it so much better as it just reads easier for me! Wonderful changes!!