Behind Falls of Rivermist

We all have a little darkness within us.

Behind falls of rivermist

Dark thoughts come to life

In blackness what does exist

When one dares evil ne'er hide

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

When one dares the deep inside... A bit of a chill here - these short pieces are packing an emotional punch, and well, Mike!

[Michael G. Smith]

Chill that's what I was going for, awesome. My step daughter's last name is Chil.

[rutherford]

An implicit light dark contrast--i the river mist image in white and behind it the dark thoughts (wonder how it would read with an explicit contrast). Power in four lines.

[Michael G. Smith]

Something like- In light of day outward white wash lies? Feel free to make suggestions.

[rutherford]

what if you put "white" rivermist in the first line to accentuate the light-dark. a thought only. like this one.

[Michael G. Smith]

I like it, behind white falls of rivermist.

[Nyu]

Dark and deep...that's lovely like a cave of thoughts. It makes brings me to the times I have thought to a point I have actually felt as if I had entered into a difference space of life. Its very calm yet dark and natural. I really enjoyed this poem!! *w*

[Michael G. Smith]

It's like traversing the dark basement at night.

[s y e]

Exactly, we all carry that little hint of darkness around with us, you're so right. I loved this little poem and the story it told. So descriptive and vivid, like a movie on my screen.

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, this is one of those "I had a phrase pop in my head "Rivermist" and I knew it needed a poem.

[Madalyn Beck]

This is an awesome write. I love writing about the darkness inside. You've just told the tale of darkness being within us all, if we decide to venture there. I like this a lot. Short and sweet! (:

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks Madalyn. Like the new porfile pic. Sometimes less words tell so much more.

[A. Amos]

Neatly Writen piece and above verses felt deeply in heart...good job my friend

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, didn't expect this to turn out this way but I felt it had something.

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my friend

[Walker Andreasen]

I like how short this is and to the point. You have captured a thought in an entire stanza. It took me a whole poem to cover this thought (From Within), and I don't even think i came to as much of a point as you did. Bravo, good sir. I enjoyed your poetry.

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, sometimes I just come up with a line such as "The Falls of Rivermist" and try to find the right ideas to surround it. I am glad you enjoyed.