Hindsight

Something that came to mind and woke me up at some ungodly hour in the process. A lot has happened in the past few months and this is one of the few pieces of literature that has come from the chaos of my thoughts.

...With this ring, I thee wed.
For you my heart, too much has bled.
To give myself in sickness and in health
Was worth much more than I held in wealth
'Till death do us part...

You no longer hold the strings tied on my heart.

Reviews

[jenbem]

I like the bulk of the poem, but I think the last line gives it a disjointed feeling. You may want to try working that last line in, or up to the main strophe.

I really like the way it began with elispses, as if the poem itself was actually starting in the middle of something, like and event. That gave it an interesting twist.