Waiting for you

My first poem on love.

Wishing I could get a glimpse of you.

I long for nothing more the whole day

than to see a smile on your face for something I say.

I don’t ask for too long, a few hundred hours would do.

 

Hoping I could hold your hand.

Take you around the park, around the flowers;

you would rest your head on my shoulders.

Violins would hum soulful tunes in this blessed land.

 

I long for that day when I could call you mine.

Our families united, our bodies united, our fates blessed,

you would look the prettiest bride, like a goddess you’d be dressed.

I don’t want to ask for much of your time; a lifetime would do just fine.

Author's Note

Now I am 'Waiting for you' to ...

Reviews

[richieb]

Ashan,
Well written words expressing a young man longing for the attentions of a young lady. It is hard to find originality on this subject but I enjoyed your creativity. Your expressions showed the depth of the young man's desires.
Richie b.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Richie

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Ohhhhhh!
I am in Love with this Piece Ashwin!

A Lovely read!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the second review Pragati, I am happy to see this :)

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Because I read that again!

[Ashwin Shanker]

And you thought that it deserves a second review. great

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Yup!

More the better!

[Anshuman Aryav]

O..MY..GOD.....awesome,outstanding,mind blowing........creation..
Thank you so much for sharing this amazing piece..

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Anshuman

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Love is for the deserved and broken ones can soak all the love thats been given to them!

Lovely it is
Some emotions invoked!

Thankyou for this piece!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Pragati :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Wow. I can completely relate to this poem. I loved each and every line of this.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Najam

[Harley Quinn]

This is very beautiful. I would love to read more poems with emotions described as well as you did!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Hehe.... Please do read my other work, I have explored several emotions and thoughts in them. Share with me what you feel about them too.

[APOORVA]

wow
super-duper like it,
words weaven in a sequence of emotions.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Apoorva

[Amber Lily]

The poem was sweet but nothing tops that ending. Not much, just a lifetime! Clever words right there. Great work!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Amber lily, for the review :)

[Anjali]

Thank you Ashan Shanker for sharing your first work on love. It was such a simplified expression on love and the last line was a topping on writing.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Anjali :)

[Neal S]

A lifetime would do just fine..A great line. Nice work!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thanks Neal