Deadlock

An inner conflict with one's own heart — a meditation on fear, pain, and the hidden truths we deny ourselves.

You never knew, no one ever did

But it is true, it has always been

 

No worries, no grudge against you

For it was too unusual to be true

Too unusual even for me to believe

 

It needn't be too hard to accept

Yet, my policies hold me captive.

The shackles I've adorned myself with -

They are not the real ones binding me

 

They are mere gatekeepers of the castle

The gates are invisible and resilient

Those are the ones made up of fury,

Fear, despair, and agony

Aftermath of my adventures

 

My heart must not know pain, I thought

So I started trusting I don't have one

And somewhere in the process, there was a flaw

What was it, I tried hard to find

Couldn't discover it.

Because my dear, don't you see?

There exists a heart within me

The very heart I denied the presence of

We're in a deadlock, my heart and I

It is hidden by me, waiting to be released

And I hid it, now trying to stumble upon it-

The heart and the flaw, they are the same

Except that I hope to hide one but find one.

Author's Note

P.S.: The heart and the flaw, they are the same... the love.