Incessant Love

Blinded love, holding on and letting go.

We all know walking in, love is more often a promise, the giver/gives, with no rational order or law, no guidelines, rules of how the love should be felt. Expectations of the love like barnacles clinging to these boundaries, folding into to love and its life dependent on its host.

Mostly love is to wage war inside yourself, because every insecurity unremitting and focused terror, that circles you, refusing to settle.

Love is unyielding doubts and fears, that hope battles untainted, not shaken by the incessant chatter/screams, ignoring every warning, refusing to let Negative thoughts matter. Hope standing tall, never swayed, or deterred despite all the moments you are ready to walk away.

You want (love) with everything you got, but you push it away (not realizing it’s already got you by the feet). Over and over again you push at it, if it dies, then that was a love with no beat to its heart, all lies!

Caught in the selfish blinding need and a begging tireless desire.

    Love set you on fire (please come back, show me I matter).

It’s so engulfing, you are spinning and defenseless in any fight, so ready to surrender, despite your head screaming appalled, a sudden separateness of what you were and this new person now in “Hellish-Love”.

Sometimes making you want to demand, promise me, commit Now! Crying inside it escaped your lips, you showed your hand, they may see it as an ultimatum. You freeze in terror, not breathing for minutes or maybe only seconds now, your eyes search still holding a bit of defiance, an eternity before they make a sound that stuns you into a jolt, assaulted by sounds, blood draining from your body, you can’t focus enough to hear. Your fear just turned you inside and out!

Love can poke, because Love’s insanity doesn’t even have to be provoked. You poke holes in the person, perhaps trying to see behind their skin, so you know if you can trust them.

Why can’t they just promise they will never leave, you cannot be without them, they must see…

And later to your dismay, you see things after time and space so much differently. So better off they left your needs, fears, hope if they really loved you equally they would of fought your constant prods, preserving doubts, emotional outburst. And hugged your desperate haunting need, clinging and clawing at them, restless and deranged, and seen beyond this monster you became, loved you despite this insanity.

And despite this new found clarity and silence, there contained in hope, is the incessant love (you can’t comprehend) but never the less still present, hoping they come back, needing you, hopeless, and broken in your absence.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems. I've only recently the past couple of months started to write what I think is poetry.

Reviews

[Curtis.Lenker]

This an a amazing poem. I can relate to it very much. This is a great way to sum up what being in love feels like. I love this poem and can not wait to read more. Keep up the good work.