What You Do To Me

Dark fiction poetry... The words just poured out of me.

The touch that drove me out

The pain that started to cloud

The hate that started to flow

The blood that I have shed,

Just trying to stay ahead

You come around just to watch,

Hoping to watch me self-destruct

Beaten from  your twisted game

Congratulations, you've finally  won

Look at what you've done to me.

 

Reviews

[Alicia™]

I love this poem! There's a pattern in there, too. It's short, and yet packed with emotion. Great job! :)

[Miss Coral]

Nice piece... it was kind of an awkward transition though, when you went from a repeated structure and a rhyme, only to shed them a second later.

Other than that, great job.. the emotion was very nice, as was the word choice for the tone. Nice job.

[Marie Harrison]

So sad, I loved the poem. But I didn't want them to win like that in the end. I'm an idealist.

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Strong feelings that paint a crimson picture in the readers mind.

[Coyote Poetry]

Never allow the people to hurt you to see sadness. Don't give them the victory of feeling special. Tears mean we are alive. A very sad and powerful poem. I believe better to smile and not allow them to know the pain they will cause. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Shaunta R. Edwards]

very short but to the point and very emotional. I can understand the feeling behind it... time heals

[Jurikosan]

Very Powerful.

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

nice work very hardcore emotion very powerful

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a sharp expressive poem~ well related~