Consumption

How the emptiness clouds me as a darkening sky.

Or are my tears the ones formed to cloud me from seeing?

The race that runs within my mind, has each of my thoughts a player to outrun.

Yet, I cannot run, I cannot hide,

For each thought still outruns, it draws abyssal circles around me endlessly.

My fingers trace each ragged circle, 

Oh the continuous depth it follows.

They are dragged across my bearing soul,

They have tethered and captured to hold me still.

The longer it grips me, dangling my hanging hopes above me.

I stare as I claw for them, and think if it's clawing I should be doing at all.

For nothingness is what I feel, a void is all I seem to see,

I smother my urge to heal, for I am still so saddeningly angry.

My traced lines do not trail up out of me.

It drags deeper and farther down past the depths of my bones,

It strips every layer of skin, penetrates every cell to feel a flaming fire.

My body memorizes every suffocation, every provocation of sorrow.

I will recognize each scar everywhere I go, 

For there is no difference between yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

I question the wonder of my freedom,

If is lies beyond this caged prison I reside.

Is it that I shall seek what is tangible and glimmering with facade?

Or is what I feel ever so limitless that it may alter as disguised change.

I breathe as deep as my shaken lungs will offer,

I rattle my bones with such little strength I have.

A reminder that it is here I still am,

That I am still lost but still have sought.

That I am still numb but I can still feel.

That I am still frozen but still burning.