what you deserve.

i feel like this is for anyone who i've ever hurt, anyone who wanted something that i could not give them. i'm sorry, and you deserve better than me.

you deserve to feel ultimate happiness,

whatever that is

if it’s where the sky and ground gently kiss on the horizon

if it’s where the bird sings her lovely little tune up in the glorious oak tree

or if it’s a rocky road, with tire marks staining its surface;

marks left to never be forgotten

nature’s scars.

you deserve to feel the joy

the joy that i cannot give you 

but maybe

the whispering trees can

or maybe the moon watching over you as you sleep

protecting you and taking my place

in your life, can.

you deserve so much better

than my fragile weak heart 

body 

soul

mind

could ever 

give to

you.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

This is quite a good poem. Your imagery is spot-on. I don't know that you need that isolated 'can' - I know you did that for effect, but because you went without punctuation and capitals (which is fine), it was a bit disorienting. I would suggest putting the word at the end of the previous line:

protecting you and taking my place
in your life, can.

You get your emotions across well in this piece, and that is the most important aspect of poetry. Well done!

[Hannah Berry]

Okay, I will revise! I completely agree now that I look at it that way. :) Thank you

[MoriartyMesa]

Not sure why my mind went to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkb6Xmhp_XE

[Mouli Banerjee]

This is beautiful. and very uplifting. :)

[Casner P]

Eloquent and beautiful usage of words. Short but very sweet. Job well done.

[annabellee]

That is such a lovely write, I enjoyed reading it a lot. It really touched me.

[Rahul]

you well questioned about what you think and what you thought in a past days...great write once again :)