..TrUsT..

This piece I wrote today only... when one of my friend & I had a little fight..... This piece is dedicated to her, and just show how special friends are in life :)

U & I have something special,
A bond that is more than just a friend...

              I say nothing, yet U understand it completely,
             And this need not have any end...

                          We talk..we share so much,
                          That we don’t need to pretend..
                         
                          Sometimes we end up in confusion,
                          But U always have a solution to mend..

             U trust me with all my flaws,
             Which makes you a person whom I can depend..

If I lose you , I will not be the same,
Because U always makes me the one who can anywhere blend..... :)

Author's Note

Feeling cannot be rated... Still I need a feedback for this one, before I show this to my friend :)

Reviews

[Ryan]

In my honest opinion, I feel like you've compromised the flow of this in order to keep the rhyme. You say that Hindi is your first language, so I think that some of the problem might be translating and maintaining grammar rules, no offense. There are a couple of lines here that would rewrite, as such:

"I say nothing, yet still you understand,
And this affinity need never end..."

"But you always have a way to mend.."

"And upon you I can always depend.."

"Thanks to you, I can always fit in,
losing you is something I could never contend"

I think you should spell out the word "you" instead of just putting U, and "and" instead of &, because that makes it look a bit more, professional, I guess. But that is your choice. This is a very sweet write, sentimental and from the heart. I hope you show it to your friend :)

[smilempsn]

ThankU for the critical review Ryan :) .. Well I write in time pass , so whatever comes in my mind I write.. I don't think much for it afterwards...

well your lines were simply beautiful, thanks for the suggestions..

Well I try to keep the 'you' 'and' properly except this one. Because, I wanted to emphasize on the relation between 'U' and 'I' .. So only kept it that ways :)

Many Thanks again.. ^-^

[Ryan]

no problem :) it's good the way it is, anyway.
I understand. i hadn't thought of it that way :)

[smilempsn]

:)

[Vikrantsingh]

Amazing work dear :) Loved it
Simple/Decent/Perfect.

Regards,
Vikrantsingh Parmar

[smilempsn]

hmm... ThankU :)

[Vikrantsingh]

You're Welcome :)

[John A Raju]

well penned, managed to rhyme it well without over compromising the flow though 'u always have a solution to mend' ended up an incomplete line, still an engrossing write up.

[smilempsn]

ThankU for the review and suggestion ^-^

[Wolfi :3]

I really like this one, I can relate and I think it's wonderful.

[smilempsn]

ThankU Wolfi :)

[Sami Khalil]

I like the meanings and the artistic value in this poem along with the thoughts...Well penned...:)

[smilempsn]

ThankU Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure ...:)

[therisa]

Trust is
A feeling
So hard to gain
Yet easily lost
On a single word
Carelessly spoken.

Please pardon me, but your last verse, doesn't read right to me. May I suggest, you try instead: Because U always make me the who can blend anything.

[smilempsn]

ThankU for the review.... that 'Blend' in the end was written for completing the rhyme :)

read moreThankU for the review.... that 'Blend' in the end was written for completing the rhyme :)

If you could suggest anything else that can rhyme and go with the flow, it would b nice :)

[therisa]

Sorry, I can't think of an alternative rhyming word. Sigh.

[smilempsn]

then lets keep it this way only... Until anyone comes up with a better end :)

[smilempsn]

ThankU :) will surely share it tomorrow :)

[tina.anderson]

Very sweet sentiment! I hope you shared it!

[smilempsn]

ThankU :)

[Akshat♥]

I really like it..
you should share it with your friend..
hope that person will become happy..
trust is very important these days..
lovely write!

[smilempsn]

ThankU :)

[Akshat♥]

you are always welcome :)