INFATUATION AFTER MARRIAGE

After marriage infatuation... when committed people fall in love....

INFATUATION AFTER MARRIAGE

 

I have not seen such a love

He looks at me like a dove

His eyes on me very keen

Such a love, I have not seen

 

But never tells that he loves me

But hide in my ways to see me

He knows he cant escape my eyes

But me never tells that he loves.

 

Why do you hide your love?

Why are you clam like a cow

Like a cat you prowl in my head

Your love why do you hide?

 

Thus he disclosed one day

With calmness came his say

I am Mr Beens of Mrs Beens

He disclosed one day thus

Your spell kicked off my heart

Your charm shattered me apart

Your spell kicked off my commitment

Your spell kicked off my heart.

 

I must go my beauty, now I must go

My commitment I must not forego

I must not yield to my mind, naughty

I must go,now I must go my beauty.

 

Not to see his tears, he turned back

Only if I could utter what I wanted to ask!!

That was my first love that was he.

His tears, he turned back, not to see.

Why did you fancy me then?

Why did you covet me then?

Why dint you feel shy?

You did fancy me then, why?

 

Reviews

[Raivenne]

On the use of the form:
The pieces are there but, they do not quite connect properly to say it is a Swap Quatrain. Example: In the first and fourth lines swap of your stanzas:

"I have not seen such a love
//
Such a love, I have not seen" is a proper swap, however.

"But never tells that he loves me
//
But me never tells that he loves." (should be: he loves me, but never tells that) or
"Not to see his tears, he turned back
//
His tears, he turned back, not to see." (should be: he turned back, not to see his tears).
Also the "ee" sound rhyme is used thrice (me/me, naughty/beauty and he/see). In a true Swap Quatrain, rhymes are repeated.

As for the poem, I do agree with Stoic on the elaboration, the switching between first, second and third persons is a little jarring and I had to reread it to comprehend where the tale was going. For the tale being told itself, I like it.
It is a good story you are telling. The road leading to temptation is easy an path, treading away once you realize you're its, is hard. Though he should have never started it in the first place, and it breaks two hearts to do so, he did the right thing in walking away.

[the_stoic]

there were a few errors in your write i feel .. jeny if you could elaborate the last two stanzas .. couldn't make out the meaning

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is very good. I believe men and woman get foolish. When love is new. We do everything for our spouse happiness. My Grandfather treated my Grandmother like a princess. They stay marry 67 years. Love must be important and treating your wife or husband as they are the only one. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote