TWO EYES

A poem for my love

TWO EYES

 

They follow me

Scan me

Guard me

Protect me

Admonish me

Covet me

 

One day

Those eyes may meet

Mine..

My dry eyes .

Those sharp eyes

May wonder at the aridity

Of my dreamless life’s

Pallid and anemic hopes

Ready to be doused

By any feeble wind

 

My eyes perhaps

May flicker on brushing

With your’s that

You kept for me

Only for me

Where are you?  

Reviews

[Tracie D'Angelo]

Very interesting. I love the idea of eyes possessing someone. Looks can mean so much and have so much silent power. I really like this! Nice job!

[Ruth]

Eyes....nice :) They can strip us to the very soul, can't they?! Brilliantly written love, awesome work xx

[Sweets]

Great use of vocabulary!
Beautiful ending!
Great work! :)

[The Analog Kid]

The eyes are the window to the soul as we all know. Such a sense of longing. Nice job, JENY.

[Richard Williams]

Good flow and cadence about the eyes. Some good lines, I like best, "Those sharp eyes / May wonder at the aridity / Of my dreamless life's / Pallid and anemic hopes" Some fine stuff here. Good job.

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem. I had to read a few times. Sometime we wait for people who need to be showed you are near and alive. I like ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Seems like waiting for that special person, soul-mate maybe..
This is deep in many ways.. :

"My eyes perhaps

May flicker on brushing

With your’s that

You kept for me

Only for me

Where are you?"

I really like these lines.. a dreamy sadness and longing.

Chloe

[Randolf Ramos]

Cool, I could sense that you are shy girl with hopes and dreams unknown, but not known to some a hidden talent bound by love sparks your dreams to hopeful realization and that take love as your inspiration. That special love brings the best out of you. And that is the good side of this relationship.

[Holly O'Brien]

I totally understand where the speaker is coming from....we all want to be our lover's "object of affection"....we want them to only have eyes for us. And sometimes we feel a bit intimidated by the fact that they may tire of us...thank God unconditional love is not by sight and desire alone. The ending made me think a bit...

The last line "Where are you?" caught me off guard and I don't quite know what to make of it. Has the speaker lost her lover? Or is she in search of one? lol that confused me a little I think.

Great write!! Love the way you use such colorful words...they make your poetry so enjoyable to read, very refreshing :)

[Moflo]

I like this poem, it displays a perfect sense of desperation meets faith. Good job.