Asylum

The result of a prompt given to me, using the word "Asylum".

Figures stand in silence

Not a sound from their lips

Whisps of dust along the ledge

Of a window never opened

Soured milk and cookies

From the breath of a man next to me

A polka dotted zebra

Curled in the corner, alone

Nurse in white pajamas

Pills and a Dixie cup

Night in the asylum

Wake me, when it's over

Author's Note

It's always fun to write stuff from a prompt. You never know what direction your writing may take.

Reviews

[Janet Hadson]

Sounds like a wild dream. Strongly descriptive. Very imaginative especially the polka dotted zebrà. I found this somewhat humorous and wondered how on earth one would know it was a zebra. There's an innocence about this poem I love.

[Leigh]

You have worked the lines very well around the one word and described the timeless, waiting feeling of an asylum where everyone does not know what is going on or what they are suppossed to be doing. Great descriptions

[Scott S]

Thank you so much, Leigh. I really appreciate you taking time to read the poem and to review it.

[Victorious]

Dear Scott S,

Interesting. I must say the last two lines were quite abrupt for me, but other than that, I loved the flow and that's cool cause I can't write well from a prompt. It felt like going through a tunnel of insanity, the twisted view of a confined space. The diction was perfect and flowed nicely.

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

[emmajoy]

You've created a near masterpiece from that single colour word 'Asylum' 'From the breath of a man next to me ~ a polk dotted zebra ~ Curled in the corner, alone ' - those are extraordinary words, tragic tableaux, if you like.

What a finely executed result from a prompt.

[Scott S]

Thanks so much, Emma. As you know, that is not the normal type of poem that I write.....I am glad that it was effective, and I thank you for the very nice review.

[Dean]

Wonderful conclusion! Very effective little poem.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I think you got a lot out of that prompt.

"Whisps of dust along the ledge
Of a window never opened" that image says volumes to me.

[Scott S]

Thanks so very much. I am glad that the image came across.