Once upon a december re-write

this song is one of my top favorites. It is so... inspiring. Telling a great story. Except with the real song.. it sort of has its place first. First in my version the person is remembering, then forgetting. In the real song, forgetting then remembering.

The dancing of the bears.

The wings of an angel

The things i wish to remember

 

And a song

I wish to leave

On a lonely december

 

I get held till i'm safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Just my memory

 

So far away

Longer then i'd go.

Growing to an ember

Things my soul used to know

On a lonely december

 

I get held till i'm safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Just my memory

 

Just as far as i would go.

Growing dim as an ember

Things my soul used to know

The things i yearn to remember

And my song... someone sings

On a lonely december

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please don't.. be angry at my attempt. I did it with the best intentions. Thank you and enjoy

Reviews

[Lunar Lightning]

See, this is the kind of atmosphere that repetitiveness adds to. And by the way, it's more of a poem than a story. I liked it a lot, it reminds me of cold lonely December night when I'm laying in bed wishing I wasn't alone. Which is good because readers like to be able to relate to writing, it paints a clearer picture and strikes the emotions deeper. Nicely done

Luna