My Room's too Quiet and My Mind's too Loud

Late one Thursday Night

Sitting on my bed

My laptop in front of me

Why can’t I think

I ask myself

The fan is on

The room seems endless in the night.

The only light coming from the lamppost

My mind wanders

About this boy in one of my classes

Think

I command myself

Although I rarely listen

I can’t

 

The room’s too quiet

And

My mind’s too loud

Reviews

[Chad Sell]

I like it. I often write stream of consciousness style poetry similar to this. A thought: when writing this kind of poetry, I usually don't capitalize the first letter of each line. Capitalization indicates a new thought (just like punctuation indicates the conclusion of a thought) and the use of capitalization here makes the poem seem kind of jerky--I mean, it doesn't flow as well as it could if you considered where capitalization is important and where it might be unnecessary. Or perhaps this is all just how I think. Regardless, I enjoyed reading this.

[Petrichor]

Thank you for the tip! I'm just starting to write poetry more and I'll keep your tip in mind.

[Gamitsuki]

NiCe poem..............you know i am of your age too-just a little older.........it's a nice one....keep it up.....:-)