Rebellion

My name is Rocky, given from birth 

The hard rebellion of a dry earth

Broken parched pieces turn into sand

A desert foreboding, a wasteland

My surface cracks, so many my flaws

Tooth marks where nature's teeth gnaws

Here only cactus and thistles grow

All covered in winter by drifted snow

Scorpions and snakes fill my holes

Over my surface a tumbleweed rolls 

A desolate place unwanted by man

Sunbaked scorching hot, a frying pan

Lying unchanged over countless years

Broken stone washed by heaven's clear falling tears

Reviews

[Michael Sun Bear]

“Washed by heaven’s clear falling tears”. I love that line. Your poem is so very visual with unpleasantness it’s almost disturbing. But a lovey glide home to end.

[Soren]

Thanks so much Michael for the read and words of encouragement it is appreciated

[John the Baptist]

It seems at first that we are dealing with an individual here, but apparently it is a part of the earth itself. And a grim, dry desert place it is, snow covered in winter, scorching hot in summer. Its only inhabitants are cactus and thistle, with no animal life able to live there. Of course, an ambitious real estate agent might try to pass it off as the perfect retreat.

[Soren]

Thanks John the mix up is deliberate so that the metaphor becomes more evident but of course you caught it right away. Both land and man might be sold by a good real estate agent under misrepresentation. I deeply appreciate the review and support John

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. Vivid and sharp.

[Soren]

Thanks so much Thomas for the review it is most appreciated

[Einstein Noodle]

oh man .. i really like this one Soren .. the scene setting/word painting inspires my mental video .. over a desolate landscape .. funny thing is a week or two ago i watched a bit on the Kalahari Desert in Africa .. those kinds of series are so revealing ... as a metaphor, i think your poem is scorched heart, mind and soul ... i think the closing is exquisite! "Broken stone washed by heaven's clear falling tears" .. love it!! every word is needed and nothing more ... gives me sweet resolution after reading .. fine poetry says i!
E.

[Soren]

Einstein you are so kind your generous remarks do in fact encapsulate the intended metaphor. Yes your sharp eye caught it. Have lived around such settings and although I don't like them feel at home there. Thank you so much for your read and understanding interpretation.

[Chris Shaw]

A harsh, barren terrain indeed. Yes a foreboding place to get lost in, the chances of survival bleak. Your ending was light and refreshing. Rainfall on desert stone and all the possibilities of new life that could bring. I watched a nature documentary once which showed such a scene speeded up. What an amazing transformation, from dry to lush in seconds. Nature fighting back. Lovely.

Chris

[Soren]

Thank you very much Chris for your read and most encouraging words of support they are most important to me.