The Soldier's Mother

Basically, its a poem with the POV of a mother who's son has been killed at war. Based on what happened to an aquaitance.

"I want to be a soldier,"

My son says, with glittering eyes,

"For Queen and for country, "

I try to stop him-he just sighs.

 

They said the battle would be won,

Then they gave him his first gun,

But when the battle killed my son,

From the memories I must run.

 

Although I have my doubts,

In his uniform he is so beautiful

It brings a tear to my eye,

And I tell him: you're wonderful.

 

They said the battle would be won,

Then they gave him his first gun.

But then the battle killed my son,

From the memories I must run.

 

He sends me a letter twice a week,

These letters are what help me cope,

Wait-today it's slightly different,

Soldiers accopany the envelope...

 

They said the battle would be won,

Then they gave him his first gun,

But then the battle killed my son,

From the memories I must run.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Okay, this poem I actually percieved as a song-I even sang it. But, I thought it was too short when I typed it, so I put it under poetry instead. My first ever piece, so constructive criticism would be great. By the way, I'm not sure what happens in the states, but here, if a soldier dies, senior soldiers inform the family, also with the traditional letter announcing his death.

Reviews

[Katseye]

I disagree with Charles about feeling the mother's pain... it's more like you feel her shock, and deep understanding of the presence of the soldiers, but the pain hasn't hit yet. I can see the lyrical writing in this, the feelings would probably comunicate through the score. Very good, keep writing.

[Charles]

It is more of a song than anything else, isn't it? I don't quite feel the mother's passion (anguish) at the death of her son. Maybe the poem's too short to invest the reader in what the mother is feeling, maybe she has to be more passionatly attached to her son at the onset for the loss to be felt by the reader. Good effort! :-)