I just need to vent

Have ever just wanted someone to chase you once in ur life?
Such as your friend messages more than you.
Someone showing how much they want and need you in their life.
It was always me. Until I refused to chase after love or friendship.
Now I have no one
Someone i feel like I can run to when I just need to cry.
Cry and be seen. Be heard. Feel heard.
Not ever have to feel so lonely
That ending it all seems like
It would be beneficial for everyone.
I feel like people only put up with me because they have to or I am a useful to they're agenda.
It hurts.
I feel like I'm bleeding out
And everyone is staring at me and walking by.
I scream and scream my pain
Just to get told
I have no reason to be in such pain.
I feel like nothing.
Crying just feels like a waste of water.
The people I need don't even exist on this plane anymore.
The loneliness will kill me...
But I cant make those connections.
They never stick...
They never feel right
Im just ment to be friendless
If it wasn't for my daughter
I'd be gone already.