forgive me

Do you remember that final fight

and how you spat blood, kept spitting blood,

like you were a viper and it was your venom?

 

There’s a serpent in you,

I know that now,

But it’s hard to forget how you fell in the end.

How your once-comforting hands reached out

with so much fear they shook,

and how they were not answered.

 

If you had given me more time

I would have fallen with you.

Maybe that’s why you slipped away,

and how, like our hearts,

The trembling in your fingers stopped.

Author's Note

Any feedback for this poem is appreciated. Keep in mind that I am a novice, and I hope to gain experience the more I write. I think I'll try to write a poem a day. I think that the most important part of poetry is how it makes you feel, and I felt a lot of things while writing this, so... possible success? Thanks for your patience!

Reviews

[KittyKatgirl]

Omg Michelle this is amazing. I never knew you were so good at writing poems.I love this especially the last 3 lines in the second stanza, how it might have been prevented. And it ended with a strong finish. I loved this and I rarely enjoy reading a poem so that's saying something. You made me proud girl and can't wait to read more of your amazing poems.

[heylel]

I finally replied to this review! Haha, thank you so much, dear. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

[Ayushi Beura]

You are really a passionate write...you deserves a lots of appreciations

[Kymmie]

Normally I don't like poems, but I really liked this one. It was short, powerful, and to the point.

[Rvie]

I deeply love it! The emotions that you were trying to convey was shown perfectly. A great writer up ahead. ^_^

[heylel]

thank you so much! I'm glad that I was able to portray them well

[Bluebird91]

I like this one. It bleeds an invisible soul.

[heylel]

aah, thank you! That means a lot!

[PenguinEmpiress]

oooooooooh......... I like this one..... IT'S AWESOME! I love the way it's written! you do these so well~~~

[heylel]

thanks, dear!