Angelic Girl

A Tribute to my ex gf who was a devout catholic, found out that her ex had cheated on her while she was pregnant and he shattered her self confidence. This is me trying to lift her spirit.

She sighs and ponders what to do as she wakes up

Wondering about her true makeup

 

Listening to her inner self

Doubtful about her righteous stealth

 

Up rises her precious

To wake up her conscious

 

Reminding her of a better world

Where there is still a sword

 

A sword and a lord who do not abandon nor cheat

For Jesus and God never retreat

 

A guardian angel sent to thy she

To protect and appreciate

For she is sad no longer and breathes articulate

Mission accomplished and time to jet

Angel then takes a last look lest

Still fascinated and impressed

With her ever true grit

How can she ever quit

 

She sighs and ponders what to do

              ..nomore..

For Jesus is undoubtedly in love with her too!

 

Author's Note

For the record I'm not Christian, but she was. However, I believe in all religions.

Reviews

[1]

Giving of self to help heal the broken is a trait not all can claim. You, sir display such selflessness and set the example of what it means to care relentlessly. Bravo! Great pen................... "She sighs and ponders what to do as she wakes up Wondering about her true makeup" sets the tone and is a great play on words as most people wake up everyday and put on what i call "mental makeup" to conceal who they truly are because of the pain. Thanks for sharing, my friend!

[Leo]

Once again very kind of you to take the time and provide your authentic feedback..many thanks and blessings to you dear reader

[TNAULREY]

Brilliant and insightful look into love, relationships and seeing the beauty in another's soul! Bravo.

[Leo]

She definitely had a a beautiful soul..thanks for the thoughtful review..bblessed

[SZHZIA]

You beautifully presented her character. I like much her consciousness every time. Everyone needs such awareness. Well written.


Best
Szhzia

[Leo]

Thank you for you for taking the time to give me a review. Glad you liked it, best!

[SZHZIA]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Stan Lee]

Nice poem. I like how the contrast between the angelic girl and the cruel world create a sense of melancholy. thanks for sharing. :)

[Leo]

I'm glad you liked it..Thank you for your review

[Tinman07]

I got a little confused for a moment by the word 'jet', is this a typo for 'jest'?
Sad no longer = happy and joking --> jest
and then the rhyme jest & lest?
Or am I overthinking this?

I do like the spiritual angle to this work, I'm not particularly religious, but I like to think there's more... perhaps I'm just a 'lapsed agnostic'.

Nice piece, again.

[Leo]

Thanks for your interest Tinman..Jet as in flee..the rhyme is jet and lest..best ;)!

[Woody]

very nice indeed STANGER. love it.
I'm no authority in the poetic field so I may be wrong. there are a couple of places I didn't get. could that be a mistake?
- sent to thy she
- time to jet
- takes a last look lest. is this an enjambment?

[Leo]

Just saw this..I recommend you re read it and let me know :)..thanks for taking the time to read it..

[Helen Crutchett]

A truly beautiful tribute to that Angelic Girl. I am sure this would inspire her to keep on going after reading your poem.


The rhyming was great, but just one stanza missed out...

"Angel then takes a last look lest
Still fascinated and overwhelmed" (try and make this line rhyme)

Also for the last stanza I suggest:

I suggest:

She sighs and ponders nomore..
For Jesus is undoubtedly in love with her too!"

Another tip.....try to elimiate all unncessary words when writing a poem.....it makes them more polished.


Good job!


Helena :)

[Leo]

Thank you for the thoughftul feedback and review much appreciation..will definitely look into it..the last stanza almost gave me a heart burn trying to figure it out then I was like whatever..you're right..blessings

[QuietlyCrash]

"For she is sad no longer and breathes articulate
Mission accomplished and time to jet
Angel then takes a last look lest
Still fascinated and overwhelmed"
This was my absolute favorite part. this was so nice to read. I really loved the imagery and the beginning when you were talking about her "true makeup" good god i loved that. please keep writing stuff like this.
-riley

[Leo]

Much appreciation for your feedback Riley..I'd have to meet another angelic girl to produce another :)