And When I Wake Up

I’m going to die

With no one by my side

Because I can never be happy

At all

Ever

And when I wake up

I’m going to choke on my depression

I can never win

Never be accepted

I can never be good enough

And nothing is ever good enough for me

And when I wake up

I’m flat lining on the hospital bed

And when I wake up

There’s a bullet in my head

And I’m already dead

And when I wake up

I look up

And I see jealousy

Getting rubbed in my skin

Over and over again

And when I wake up

Nobody’s there

Just like everyday

And nothing changes

And when I wake up

I’m screaming and sweating

Trying to remember my dreams

And nobody sees me

No one pays attention

Few care

Those that do care do a bad job of showing it

And when I wake up

I don’t have the effort

To pretend to smile

At least not when people are looking

And finally

When I wake up

You’re there with me

And I never want to sleep again