29.

thursday, 30 april 2009 at 12:03 |

29. heartbeats under the rise and falling of your belly;
hands, warm warm hands--vacant from the twining of mine.
i rest on bed sheets, remembering the body which used to lay.
but dull scents replaced--body anew with soft blue eyes,
which glimpse and glare, and perch on mine.
i draw hearts on new found fingers, pure--
i am growing new roots for this budding;
unknowing to the eyes, but its roots,
it roots are there.
so that one day this bud
will be picked by warm warm hands.

Reviews

[kewlbluetiger]

Interesting write about a new relationship. Love this part here: "but dull scents replaced--body anew with soft blue eyes, / which glimpse and glare, and perch on mine." I thought that was great because it was like the new lover was nudging the writer into the second part of the poem. You repeat the word roots twice and I thought this line needed help with a bit more description: "it roots are there." That's just a suggestion, honestly I knew where you were going and loved that you captured the plant/flower imagery. This was really heartfelt. Keep up the great work.

[Butterflymom]

This is very creative, fresh, and original. Very nicely done, and quite beautiful.