The Scenery Sleeps

A peaceful night!

The night was quiet

soft breezes caress the dark

Stars shimmers and dance

While the full moon glows brightly

On all the creatures below

Author's Note

Hope you like it! Suppose to be a Tanka poem!

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Karen, do you notice how much quieter that last line reads now - in keeping with the tone of this night you describe

[KAREN]

Yes, thank you!

[W. Barrett Munn]

In my opinion, that reads a lot easier and more naturally. Nice job!

[KAREN]

Thank you!

[W. Barrett Munn]

I like it Karen. My only suggestion concerns the word “here”. For some reason it jars me. Is it possible to say “on all the creatures below”?

[KAREN]

Thank you! I fixed it!!!

[Chris Shaw]

A delightful piece of brevity, gifting beautiful imagery of the night sky. This tanka calms the soul.

Chris

[KAREN]

Thank you so much!

[Patricia]

Very nicely done, I love the word creatures, nice imagery;)

[KAREN]

Thank you!

[M. J. Smith]

Second line should be seven syllables. Has eight. May I suggest "Soft breezes caress the dark?"
Beautiful images. Reminds of numerous nights spent in campgrounds. The full moon, the cicadas, the summer wind. Good night's...
Nice job my friend.

[KAREN]

Thanks so much!

[.]

Soothing, serene enchanting night comes alive with these lines....nicely done

[KAREN]

Thank you!

[.]

You are welcome..

[Sami Khalil]

Magical, soothing and very descriptive. Short and sweet plus lovable.