Recipe for a "Wisconsin Winter"

An observation of a "typical" northern winter storm.

Recipe for a “Wisconsin Winter” BY STORY PRICE

Step 1

Begin with approximately 9 inches of snow.

Step 2

Add 25 to 40 mph cold wind.

Step 3

Mix in a couple hundred pounds per square yard of sleeting and freezing rain or what we Northerners call “ICE” (You can find this anywhere in Wisconsin this time of year)

Step 4

Make sure Ice Chopper, Shovels, Snow Blower, Ax, and Flame Thrower are still usable from last year’s recipe. Also, check your supply of C-4 Explosives (In case of “EMERGENCY”)

Step 5

Drop in 6 to 8 more inches of snow and reduce heat by 40 degrees.

Step 6

Hope that you don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do.

Step 7

Pray if you do.

Step 8

Call your friends and/or relatives that live in a nice warm climate that have never endured the wrath of a winter season and tell them you wish they were here with you.

Step 9

Simmer your patience 4 to 7 days with minus zero temperatures until recipe is frozen solid.

Step 10

Wait 3 to 5 days for recipe to thaw and ENJOY!!!

Author's Note

This is the reason why I live in the South.
Stay warm!
Story