Because Of You

Because Of You

I never had such tears in my heart

I was never so weak and not smart.

I never chased what I've lost after a try

But here I am ,after you I deadly cry.

I was never afraid of my future and my tomorrow

But after all of what I felt,I knew what's sorrow.

Because of you I'm afraid of what I have

Because of you I don't want what I have to have.

Because of you I give up on every dream

Because of you I'm letting go all of the flame.

And after all what I have lost because of you

I yet say that you are still what I care of.

Author's Note

I hope you like it...:)

Reviews

[Blue]

A lot of comparisons to the theme of the song "Because of You" and I understand the pain that compelled you to write this piece. When I was heartbroken, I used to list down the things I hate about that guy. I do not advocate such but it has helped me in my moving on process. Also, it has sharpened my linguistic skills. Ha. :) I'm glad you turned to poetry to express your heartache instead of other unhealthy stuffs.

This poem resembles my old poems--repetitive in form with basic rhymes. You can further improve this poem by going beyond the literal surface. It takes time but it's worth it. Also, cut redundancies such as "I was never afraid of my future and my tomorrow". You may omit "my future".

I suggest reading your own poems aloud. It will help you to "hear" what doesn't sound right, what's unnecessarily repetitive, what's off.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

[maria ( rose)]

I do like this one, heartfelt and profound piece..very well written.-
-maria

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

I like the idea "because of you", i like how you convey because of that person you felt both happiness and sadness...all i can say is that i salute you for loving that person truly..that is true love...because i have also loved someone truly that's why i can feel your emotions..great poem!:)

[cycy]

"I never chased what I've lost after a try
But here I am ,after you I deadly cry."

[Latifa]

very sad, but I felt it
heartfelt piece darling, I hope you'll get over this negative feelings and your heart will be healed soon

[Tai Ryens]

Caring for somebody despite them hurting you, sweet. I like it.

[MsJewel]

You have touched my heart with this sad poem my friend. Beautifully descriptive and heartfelt.

:) Julie

[Demii]

Emotionally sad and strong, a lot of deep thoughts, but this sentence really stuck in my head, "Because of you I don't want what I have to have." Reminds me of my relationship, when things get rough and upsetting you don't want anything like you want that person, there's nothing that compares to how much you, want, feel and need to have them sometimes. Reallly good Poem, I liked it.

[Ankit Kumar]

hey dear..there is one good point...u write with deep thinking....And that always comes from your heart....

[stars are far]

thank you very much :) glad you realized this :)

[Katherine]

Usually I don't like rhyming poetry but this one is really deep and profound nice write

[stars are far]

Thank you very much :)