Because Of You

Because Of You

I never had such tears in my heart

I was never so weak and not smart.

I never chased what I've lost after a try

But here I am ,after you I deadly cry.

I was never afraid of my future and my tomorrow

But after all of what I felt,I knew what's sorrow.

Because of you I'm afraid of what I have

Because of you I don't want what I have to have.

Because of you I give up on every dream

Because of you I'm letting go all of the flame.

And after all what I have lost because of you

I yet say that you are still what I care of.

Author's Note

I hope you like it...:)

Reviews

[Blue]

A lot of comparisons to the theme of the song "Because of You" and I understand the pain that compelled you to write this piece. When I was heartbroken, I used to list down the things I hate about that guy. I do not advocate such but it has helped me in my moving on process. Also, it has sharpened my linguistic skills. Ha. :) I'm glad you turned to poetry to express your heartache instead of other unhealthy stuffs.

This poem resembles my old poems--repetitive in form with basic rhymes. You can further improve this poem by going beyond the literal surface. It takes time but it's worth it. Also, cut redundancies such as "I was never afraid of my future and my tomorrow". You may omit "my future".

I suggest reading your own poems aloud. It will help you to "hear" what doesn't sound right, what's unnecessarily repetitive, what's off.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

[Leslie Philibert]

I do, love the couplet form and the honest words..

[stars are far]

Thank you so much ..I appreciate your time :)

[don't know]

Another poem written from the heart. i enjoyed reading it. keep up the good work. :)

[stars are far]

Thank you very much :)