My Last Wish

There is something I need to tell,

There is something you need to listen,

There is something we need to do,

To set things back to peace.

 

Daily meeting turned to weekly,

Weekly to vanish I could see.

The calls get hanged and

The door gets banged.

All I could see is distance growing like a Banyan tree.

 

I feel I am running out of time.

The sands of my sand clock are flowing out;

(and I can't fix it as this is it - my life span)

I wish to see you once again

From somewhere far

(Though regretting, I missed many golden chance)

just to see you overcome and live long.

Reviews

[DiMar4u]

"i wish to see you once again"....if only it could be.

[Aurora Lynn]

Another great poem! The only thing that bugged me with this peom was the color; red is a very harsh color on your eyes, and it distracts the readers from the true point of the poem. Perhaps you can use a different color, one not so distracting? Other than that, a very well-written poem. Thank you for writing~

[BloodyRabbit]

lovely poem :) good work.. thanks for sharing :)

[LoopyLoo]

Really god. Well done. :-)

[sushi]

Thanks for all your valuable reviews.

I think the last stanza might have confused a little. The poem is meant to be read as a narration from a person who lost his love and now counting this days. Before his life ends ( i.e. the sands of his sand clock flows out completely) he feels bad for the misunderstandings and ego that let them to part.

[Emily]

What? To me this was very confusing and choppy. Interesting word choice,though.

[Audrey Howitt]

My favorite line: All I could see is distance growing like a Banyan tree. I like it although I had a harder time with some of your word choices in this one. Not really a criticism, more like this feels like a poem you need to live with for a while . . .Perhaps what I am struggling to say--(badly I think) is that this one is not as instantly accessible as your other work is

[Maggie]

The walls get hanged, and the doors get banged...odd choices, but it suits it

[Sukriti Suki]

Touching..good flow..I even like the red font.