Search Continues...

The sun has taken the day off...

Still she is standing at the door,
beautifully dressed,
neatly tied hair
bindi on her forehead,
bangles and anklet in deep silence.

The dark shiny crystal floating in tears,
confined to the eye to a border of kajal line
Searching for the arrival of her love.

Many sun had set,
Many months got spent,
in search of the love
that could fill happiness in her eyes.

The endless search continues...
tearing the dates of calendar for an endless time.

Awards

Silver [poetic Olympics]

Apr 13, 2011

• Poetic Olympics #1
• Search Continues...

Reviews

Ahh very nice .... reminds me of a story I read long back .. that also had the exact same topic ... that story was beautiful .. and so is this .. you have done a good job my friend .
I have three suggestions though :
1. You have used terms like Bindi and Kajal , which many may not understand as those are regional terms .. do give an explanation for such terms in the authors note .
2. If possible , put up a picture of a face in closeup wearing a bindi and kajal , not too hard to get .. you can even draw one if you are good at it .
3. The dark shiny eye-balls floating in tears, ... this expression sounds a bit odd .. as :
eye-ball sounds too clinical in a love poem
and eye-ball do not float in tears , that is incorrect
so something like this might be written :

Tears welling in her dark shiny eyes

Once again .. great write.

[Sukriti Suki]

This is full of emotion. The attention to detail, and to rhyme makes it all the more real. It really shows the sadness...well done.

[Siddhartha]

A poignant and evocative piece of writing this. Bristles with longing and iron-clad hope.And complete with vivid descriptions that give it its earnest soul and a burning heart.