Passion and Smoke

A brief flirtation with love and lust

Passion and Smoke
J. Swaney 02-07
[e-mail]





I remember when we met.
I was shiny and new.
My cellophane was crisp and unblemished.
I could feel your excitement and anticipation.
Gently and carefully you opened me.
With loving hands you held me to your nose and inhaled my scent.

But slowly things changed.
I became crumpled and worn.
You burned me again and again.
As I grayed you ground me with your heel,
You tossed me, and neglected me.
Stained with your lipstick, I was forgotten and forlorn.

One day I rode with you in your Taurus.
Crumpled and forgotten like last years sunglasses.
I watched you return from the quicky-mart.
You had your new lover in your hand.
He was like me, only younger.
I died a little as you caressed him.

Your new pack of Newports.

 

Reviews

[MelissaAndres]

Very good. I could feel the emotion and heartache. Even when we try to turn our hearts to stone over a broken relationship, once we see that person with someone else, it's difficult to take. Well written!

[O!]

I felt guilty when i read the line 'Crumpled and forgotten like last years sunglasses.'

Ive got 15 sunglasses!.......not in the way u use the metaphore......but ooooo...i feel so bad about my sunglasses now.... :-(


hmmm...ciggies..that's one relationship that lasts and lasts!

x,
O!

[Adrian K. Smith]

It is kind of funny in a curious way what lingers just beneath the foil. Having smoked menthols for the past 15 years or more, I think a vile pack of Newports was the perfect choice for that story lurking just beyond the filter.

[Angel's Lady]

You had your new lover in your hand.
He was like me, only younger.
I died a little as you caressed him.

hahaha What a perfectly awesome way to describe this scenario! Applause, applause!

[Blackbirdsong]

I love this and even though its not about what you think, I felt its pain. I almost felt like crying towards the end and now I'm smiling.

Do you mean "heel" or as you have it, it works either way just curious?

"As I grayed you ground me with your heal,"

as always a great write from you...the great sage of writer's cafe :)