Chapter 2 - Classmates

The treatment given by Karens college year overwhelmed her

As the year of being an acting student went on, my anxiety grew worse and worse and so I ended up being late for classes, leaving early or not coming in at all. I couldn’t be honest with my friends because I knew, knowing them, it would be the gossip of the class, that they would be feeding on my pain, and that was the last thing I needed. Deep down I knew that if they do that, then they are not real friends but I chose to ignore that fact, thinking that they maybe gossipers but they are still my friends.

Every time I was 15 minutes late, had the morning off or even stayed at home I would be bombarded with calls and texts “Where the f**k are you?” “You’re always ill” “if you’re not here in the next hour, I would come round your house and drag you here myself” I found that these texts made it seem impossible to not only become stronger in myself but to even go near my phone.

 

It was lunchtime and I felt I couldn’t stay at college for another minute yet alone another 4 hours, I had to get out of there, I took my bags and started walking fast from the outside of college to the bus stop so I wouldn’t be stopped by one of my friends but it was too late “oi Karen, where are you going?” Brian, my quiet friend Klynn’s boyfriend confusingly said “home” I said with determination and carried on walking but I was grabbed by the arm and pulled back “no you’re not, we got dance next” I started to get worried, thinking I had no choice in the matter, I managed to mutter “but I’m not feeling well, I need to go home, Viola our teacher knows” and with that I was set free but surprised he took my word for it.

 

Every time  I wasn’t in or even a bit late I dreaded coming to class, firstly because I knew my anxiety would play up and secondly I would be interrogated by my class mates and friends the minute I would arrive.

 

It was tutorial, everybody was talking among themselves, finally my teacher Viola walked in so we could start before she could Alex turned around and dementedly asked “ why are you always off?” hoping that would trigger Viola to have a go, I was one step ahead and told her everything a couple days ago “its personal” I said strongly, inside feeling proud for sticking up for myself and telling him how it is in the kindest and most assertive way possible.

to ask a group of girls for Milly and I to sit with them in the cafeteria inside the main building. As I was sitting down I noticed one of the girls was someone I used to be friends with and also a neighbor whom we have lost contact with each other, all of the girls on that table soon became my best friends.